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Anonymous This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff Pratt, United States

Judgment Day

Today, my fiancé and I are house-sitting for my future in-laws for the next 3 weeks. They left a bible in both bedrooms, along with printouts of an article denouncing the "sin" of premarital sex. They're such complete whack-jobs, I wouldn't be surprised if they've set up hidden cameras everywhere too. FML

38 comments

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

ZiggyTink 9 July 2015, 03:24 North Branch, United States

Bashing

Today, my boyfriend's brother and his fiancée decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine, if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

36 comments

Anonymous 31 March 2016, 23:43 Broseley, United Kingdom

Trust

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML

24 comments

avocadotoe 14 November 2016, 06:52 Big Bear Lake, United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

17 comments

Great 9 April 2014, 01:42 Katy, United States

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

155 comments

>_< 30 August 2013, 22:56 Richmond, United States

Hicks

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

77 comments

teea 15 November 2012, 23:34 Saint Lucia, Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

106 comments

she won't see a therapist 23 April 2016, 04:37 Omaha, United States

Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML

43 comments

day001313 7 April 2012, 04:32 Albany, United States

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

122 comments

K.. 28 February 2021, 20:01 Australia

Put your foot down

Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML

4 comments

The Towel Molester 26 January 2012, 14:49 Australia

Thanks, Mom

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

119 comments

Top comments

Phantomsnake 10

30 May 2016, 01:04

Respect their wishes for not having sex in their bedrooms and have it in the kitchen.

30 May 2016, 01:05

If you two ever need to get in the mood and aren't put off by homoerotisism, there's some pretty adorable stuff between Jonathan and David in the book of Samuel. "Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt" (Samuel 18:3).

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Comments (38)

31 May 2016, 04:15

Did they tell him to keep his snake his cage for 72 hours?

31 May 2016, 07:34

Well, it is a sin to them. And out of respect, you should neither call them "whack-jobs" nor have sex in their house. They are going to be your in-laws anyway. That just seems like a really bad way to start of a marriage.

31 May 2016, 12:05

check around in the dark with your phone camera, should puck up stuff like that ;-)

31 May 2016, 19:16

As others said, I agree they should have been grown up enough to say it. Adults shouldn't need a reminder to "use your big girl/boy words". my MIL made my husband and me (before we married) sleep in separate rooms during our vacation /visit, even though we had a 4 month old infant. Guess who didn't get mid night help. FYL and FML

1 June 2016, 06:05

Pervs

Unlucky1232 20

24 November 2016, 06:35

premarital sex is a sin huh? intresting, I'm sure animals and a lot of our ancestors would REALLY fund that intresting too.

14 April 2018, 04:05

Have sex everywhere...

5 May 2024, 22:50

Just in case they have set up hidden cameras, I suggest you don't disappoint them and really exert yourself in giving them a real show to watch!