Family and Racism: Ironic

Ironic

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 02:01

Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 92

Family Racism

Broken heart

Dementia or hate? You decide

Smooth talker

Honestly?

By a_boring_snuffkin - 16/05/2020 02:00

Today, my friend needed to talk out bad feelings. Then she urged me to open up as well. I hate doing it, but it only seemed fair, so I confessed my deep insecurities. Not only did she agree with everything, but she also helpfully added that I'm boring, have no life and all my dreams are unattainable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 170

By Yeoman - 19/11/2011 07:47 - New Zealand

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 163

You deserved it 7 087

By irony - 25/02/2016 15:08 - United States - Louisville

Today, I have to attend a mandatory parenting class due to a false report filed against me with CPS. My son's school play is at the same time as today's class, and I'll have to miss it so I can learn how to be a "better mom". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 672

You deserved it 1 775

By RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) - 17/12/2014 18:47 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 6 608

By mugres22 - 17/08/2013 05:11 - United States - Pacoima

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 887

You deserved it 3 309

By shouldabeenapornstar - 17/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 195

You deserved it 40 224

By brokeaf - 11/07/2011 19:09 - United States

Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 876

You deserved it 52 462

Motivation

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had a job interview today after being unemployed for months. I left early but a stranger's giant SUV had me blocked in for over 2 hours. I called to explain the situation in the hope that I would be given another interview slot later in the week. I was told I clearly didn’t want the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 193

By dino317 - 27/02/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 071

You deserved it 5 509

By themanontheright - 01/03/2010 20:50 - United States

Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 772

You deserved it 38 832

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 670

You deserved it 8 382

By anon - 31/12/2012 18:13 - United States - Gilroy

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 167

You deserved it 3 126

By sportskidguru - 01/02/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 515

You deserved it 3 674

By Shamdog48 - 11/04/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 774

You deserved it 3 729

By f.a.t. - 04/10/2013 08:20 - Australia

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 525

You deserved it 7 757

By ihatelongflights - 21/08/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 694

You deserved it 3 010

By shikushiku - 03/08/2016 03:12 - United States - Plano

Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Ends up he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 292

You deserved it 961

By esk - 18/05/2009 08:48 - China

Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 351

You deserved it 3 664

By NotAThief - 14/08/2016 22:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a store to buy some noodles, but hey were out so I left empty handed. When I left, the store the alarm went off so I was called back in, and they searched my bag. They didn't find any stolen goods. They did find a dead mouse my cat must have left for me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 389

You deserved it 1 064

By Anonymous - 17/06/2010 22:56 - United States

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 213

You deserved it 15 926

By anonymous - 29/08/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 464

You deserved it 2 505

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 001

You deserved it 73 681

By TayTay - 16/05/2009 07:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 857

You deserved it 12 413

By alice5000 - 07/11/2008 05:47 - France

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 441

You deserved it 70 086

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 14:31 - Denmark

Today, at a party a fly flew into my mouth. I spit it out, and in an effort to wash out my mouth I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 641

You deserved it 9 773

By dracer - 04/02/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 854

You deserved it 3 950

By weirdthingtosay - 21/11/2014 09:56 - United States - Kalama

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 805

You deserved it 11 837

By duped - 15/08/2011 05:45 - Pakistan

Today, our cleaning lady's son came to our house claiming that his mother had died of a heart attack. We gave him her entire month's salary as well as some extra money. A few hours later, our cleaning lady turned up for work. Turns out she doesn't have a son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 325

You deserved it 22 866

By ZG_Rules - 20/03/2015 14:38 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 599

You deserved it 2 953

By Anonymous - 20/01/2016 05:05 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I found out if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around, it does in fact make a sound, and also $5,000 worth of damage to your truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 912

You deserved it 1 568

By Lizz - 06/02/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 3 088

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 18:00

Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 944

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I had a UTI. After, taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 129

You deserved it 4 528

By Weter - 30/01/2009 11:30 - United States

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 872

You deserved it 3 431

By Betty - 17/03/2010 18:26 - United States

Today, I went in for a doctors appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 424

You deserved it 9 250

By carson28 - 17/12/2010 02:23 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 139

You deserved it 6 322

It never ends

By Anonymous - 30/05/2020 20:00

Today, I had a "nightmare" where I found out I had more homework than I originally realized, and spent the entire dream doing homework. There is no escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 164

By jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 145

You deserved it 806

By Jim - 10/03/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 598

You deserved it 9 040

By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 01:10 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 011

You deserved it 2 015

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Top comments

DrSamba1 8

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Saturday 27 March 2021 2:12

Racism is fucked up in all cases, but especially directed at one's own family.

rainbowdonnareed 18

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Saturday 27 March 2021 2:46

I would have walked in said too bad you won't see them. My sister her mom is ridiculous about her granddaughter and great grandchildren. Who are from a mixed mom my sister is Romani and black, married a Filipino and had a daughter who was with a Japanese guy. They had two daughters. My niece barley speaks to her grandmother

Comments

DrSamba1 8

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Saturday 27 March 2021 2:12

Racism is fucked up in all cases, but especially directed at one's own family.

mando 10

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Saturday 27 March 2021 18:10

I know, it is.

rainbowdonnareed 18

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Saturday 27 March 2021 2:46

mando 10

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Saturday 27 March 2021 18:33

Raising your children is so much more important than what a racist grandmother thinks. They are better off without that attitude in their life.

tounces7 27

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Saturday 27 March 2021 3:16

America is the biggest ethnic/racial melting pot in the entire world. Being mixed is pretty much about as "American" as one can look.(Disregarding the obvious fact that Lakota is also a native american tribe)

Nhayaa2.0 17

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Saturday 27 March 2021 4:18

Technically, Native americans are the only "true" north americans if we speak in term of continent. "White" americans are europeans.

Brightside86 28

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Saturday 27 March 2021 5:03

I imagine she'll get over it. It's got to be kind of weird though, up until this point I bet her whole lineage was Western European and going forward her grandkids won't have that identity. From here on out they'll be checking the minority box on applications, and her families history will be marginalized. Hopefully she's able to see it from the Lakota perspective, eventually. Best of luck.

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Saturday 27 March 2021 5:31

So they'll look half American, half European. Does she expect you to be able to change your DNA so you're native American as well? Seriously though, tell her to shut her racist mouth, or she'll never know what her grandkids look like.

kristinagir 9

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Saturday 27 March 2021 5:57

How more American does she want her grandchildren to be?

mando 10

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Saturday 27 March 2021 18:09

If she wants a relationship with her grandkids, she's obviously got to get over it. What counts is that your children and grandchildren are happy and healthy.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

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You deserved it 28

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

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Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

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You deserved it 184

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

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