Inappropriate, dude

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 05:01

Spicy
Today, my husband, during casual family chat, told my CHILDREN all about my childhood sexual abuse as I stared at him in disbelief. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 443
You deserved it 95

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WTF! How do you respond to that? He was dead wrong.

Even if it’s something you’d want them to know about eventually, it’s not his place to tell it. It should’ve absolutely come from you IF and WHEN you wanted to share that with them. So sorry you’ve gone through that.

Comments

WTF! How do you respond to that? He was dead wrong.

He probably shouldn’t have done it that way, but it’s much much better for your children to know what happened to you than the opposite. Now I hope you see/have seen someone to help you about those abuse, that you were able to have your abuser(s) prosecuted and maybe it could be good to find counseling to help your children assimilate those news. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. But at the end I’m sure it’s for the best.

Solid words here 🙂

Marisa Ware 10

No it absolutely is not ok. That is something she should have had the opportunity to tell them herself, if she wanted to share that at all. The husband is completely in the wrong. As someone who went through the same thing when I was little, I would be infuriated if someone told anyone that without my consent.

Vesi 28

Yep! My sister told my son about the same abuse I suffered at the hands of my father. My son completely freaked out as he was WAY too young to hear anything of the sort. I shredded my sister for thinking she had ANY right to tell my child(ren) what happened to me. NO-ONE has the right to tell our children what we went through except US when WE understand that our children are OLD enough and mature enough to handle that information, providing it's even worth telling about. @OP, I'm sorry your husband was so insensitive and felt your children needed to be traumatized. Might want to trade in for a new model. =)

bleachedraven 14

Call me mushy if you will, but in a lonely world, it's a thing of beauty to see people even with different viewpoints come together out of concern. 🙂

And what if she didn’t want to tell?

Sorry for what happened to you and your children, but we don’t know how old are op’s children.

wow I'm so sorry

Even if it’s something you’d want them to know about eventually, it’s not his place to tell it. It should’ve absolutely come from you IF and WHEN you wanted to share that with them. So sorry you’ve gone through that.

I'm sure he wasn't trying to be hurtful. Probably wanted to be educational. Things happen. Don't let it ruin your family dynamics. I know I've stuck my foot in my mouth a time or two.

He should've talk with you first before he said anything. He was out of line for that one.

He had no right doing that.

What an asshole. Couples' therapy?

I hope you interrupted him repeatedly to tell him no...

No one has the right to share anyone else's abuse story without their permission, unless that survivor has clearly elected to make their story public. I think it's fine for the children to know the truth, but their mom should have been the one to decide if she was ready to talk about it or if the kids were ready to hear it. What the husband did was emotionally abusive, and I really hope mom seeks qualified support.