Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out, "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, I was sitting in my room when my dad walked in to talk. He said I'm not the son he'd hoped for, and that he'd been let down as a father. He said I should change the way I am so that he could love me more. It was the longest conversation I've had with my dad in years. FML
Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML
Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, my neighbor heard me watching a YouTube tutorial for how to do a simple fix on my car engine and he half jokingly asked why my dad didn’t teach me anything growing up. My dad was just inside the front door and heard him say it. They ended up fighting in the street. FML
Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML
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Top comments
Seegtease 0
That's why you don't call random people an idiot, idiot.
Area_fml 0
You really deserved it. What do you gain in assuming that construction workers are stupid?
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Comments (86)
Seegtease 0
That's why you don't call random people an idiot, idiot.
jrdirtbike114 2
you know what happens when you assume? you make an ASS out of U and ME
luvtheknot 6
Yeah but they didn't make an ass out of u but congrats you just done it to yourself
ZleveL 0
62 do you not get it? assume "ASS out of U and ME" ASS+U+ME= assume. was that slow enough for the idiot?
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Just that it does make no sense because you assume hundred times every day. You assume, for example, that the computer in front of you won't suddenly explode. so shut the **** up.
Red_Forman 0
You dumbass, that worker should kick your ass
RenoEnvy 0
Shouldn't be yelling things like that out, my dear.
Area_fml 0
You really deserved it. What do you gain in assuming that construction workers are stupid?
missdarcy_fml 0
That is why you don't assume....
bluebob13 10
Yeah because when you assume, it makes an ASS out of U and ME
Tenantry 0
Ha ha unlucky but you deserved that one.
SilverMyst787 0
Where do you get off saying something like that about someone? Bully. You deserved that.
_Elizabeth_ 0
Well, that's why you should make sure that the person you are addressing is actually in the room. And not the person you are calling an idiot. Be a bit more careful with what you say...
Emika_fml 0
"Today, the rich prick whose house I just finished remodeling tried to scam his way out of paying me, and then walked away in a tiff when I demanded my money. Then his stuck-up bastard kid called me an idiot. FML."
lifeluvinchica 0
you completely deserved that. that was a really childish thing to say. hopefully it taught you a lesson
awkturtle 0
karma.