Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 a.m. because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
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Top comments
Ladiesman247 0
Oscar the Grouch? :3
jsgunner420 0
Maybe it WAS watching her!
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Comments (171)
purpleman321 4
Is she blonde? Cuz she might do that once in a while if she is
iLOLatURpain69 7
I lost 2 cousins to trashcans. They are a real threat.
TrollFeeder 10
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
leileigrr55 0
Dude I was up all night in a damn car cuz my friends are idiot. Damn I'm not a ******* blond haha just tired
Senior29 8
did u beat it up?
IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7
they are EVIL trash cans planning their revenge!! that happened to me once, I ran 2 miles to see of it was alive..
CHizzy963369 3
Damn trash can.
Bekavera 4
What drugs she on? Hmmmmm?
zaveeshaveesh3 7
Maybe she mistook it for a person because don't you think it might have been a little dark at 5:00 am? Drugs isn't the solution to everything
DrDPiMp 1
Crack
ILoveDaWorld 5
hahaha. that sucks
aligiorav 11
You mock her now, but you do realise a trash can could kill you right?
mgsoloist 14
Exactly. I have seen it so many times on 1000 ways to die, one including a trash an forcing a man to choke to death on his own excrement. They're bad news I tell ya.
Glitterhinoceros 14
They were obviously hiding INSIDE of the trashcan.
Im_Mousey 1
Sounds like a keeper... I always liked girls with brains too
SeasonedLemur 5
That's nothing, my girlfriend once woke me up at around 4am with a hefty right hook to the back of my head! Apparently she'd forgot I was staying over and thought a tramp had climbed into bed with her, to be fair I was well over due a mop chop...
LifeStory32 9
Lol. Did you put that on FML?
sandungyyy 4
I believe he just did.