Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 a.m. because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ladiesman247 0
Oscar the Grouch? :3
jsgunner420 0
Maybe it WAS watching her!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
perdix 31
That disguise always works. The problem is the banging sound that happens when the masturbating reaches a fever pitch as your prey disrobes ... or so I've heard.
V19Spartan 1
#giggity
theflyingtaco 3
Why was your girlfriend in the park at 5 am?
TrollFeeder 10
She probably saw the trash can from her window.
mekaylahm 0
Does someone need their beauty sleep;)
xrainbowshadowx 17
"The stalking bin" Coming soon on video and DVD ... Wait, videos ? Nah just on DVD.
tj4234 36
I'm sorry... it was me :/
DeLpHe3zY 7
5 am.. thats sooo early pal.. poor you. >_>
novadebi 4
theres someone INSIDE the trash can
stewpididiot 11
Can you say " TWEAKER" !!!! ????
jose1760 1
She is cheating on you!
Letter0 0
Maybe scream was in the garbage can! O: