Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I bought my cat a catnip-filled toy that's shaped like a fish. He pounced on it, wrestled with it, and then got so scared of it for no reason that he dashed full speed into the wall. FML
Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML
Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML
Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Today, my cat learned that smacking his feather toy against the metal barrel I store it in will result in a loud and irritating sound that gets me out of bed fast. Taking it out and putting it on the floor doesn't work, because he learned how to pick it up and drop it in the barrel. My cat is a goddamn genius. FML
Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Cat crack. What did you expect?
PleasantDino 22
Whenever my cat gets ahold of catnip he makes love to everything he sees.. I think he has a problem
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Comments (43)
topher5110 7
hey man you got that nip?
alicenotalice 12
I made the mistake of putting silvervine powder (it's like catnip but stronger I think) once on my finger and my cat went nuts. Even after I've wiped my hand, he still kept on attacking it
lostdog29 7
YDI, for having a cat...
kakakarotcake 17
Why did you take the toy away? catnip isn't harmful to cats
daximoose 11
My cat got into the bag I had for him, ate it, and then proceeded to smack me in the face till I woke up
Foxrabbit 9
My family can get catnip for our cats for free. We have wild catnip around our house. We like to watch them when they find it and it is pretty funny.
kunjac0945 21
"Mr. mittens, what happened to all the good silver?" "Meoooow."
HeyHay10 20
My cats just try to eat it, and lick everything it comes in contact with. It's a lot like weed munchies actually....
cdncw 20
Until I started tying my cupboards closed, my cats would break in and dig for treats - there are no longer treats in there, they stole the bag (and dumped everything off two shelves) months ago... I guess they still hold hope that there are some left.
kittykat1501 31
Not a drug, a natural endorphins releaser