Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I bought my cat a catnip-filled toy that's shaped like a fish. He pounced on it, wrestled with it, and then got so scared of it for no reason that he dashed full speed into the wall. FML
Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML
Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML
Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Today, my cat learned that smacking his feather toy against the metal barrel I store it in will result in a loud and irritating sound that gets me out of bed fast. Taking it out and putting it on the floor doesn't work, because he learned how to pick it up and drop it in the barrel. My cat is a goddamn genius. FML
Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Cat crack. What did you expect?
PleasantDino 22
Whenever my cat gets ahold of catnip he makes love to everything he sees.. I think he has a problem
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Comments (43)
worldclassrager 41
It's. called catnip for a reason...what cat wouldn't flip out over it?
BBeffedmylife 28
You are the enabler!
Etweens96 25
Mine have a similar problem, one of them gets all angry when she's near the other during catnip time
diaspora_fml 26
You bought your cat a toy. He liked it too much. You took it away. Now, you're whining he's trying to get it? The cat is the only one that makes sense.
DoubleDosexo 12
I just had to take my cats toys away because the young one climbed up the Christmas tree. Most of them have cat nip in them and when my cats get cat nip it's cute. they lick the toys/area and rub on it and get really loving. but if you take it away, the young one gets a little rough.
iowacountrygirl 9
It's catnip.... What result were you expecting?
KayyKaylyn 14
I love kitties so much :)) so cute! Lol
PixelPokey 12
To rehab we go!
summereclypse 6
that wasn't catnip, and yes he does! Lol
Tannasgh 22
That would make you its dealer...