Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
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Top comments
nokillnobeepbeep 0
I guess wood and penetration aren't always a good thing.
passwordis_fml 2
u know, there are safety rules to avoid such things, haven't u learnt from ned's declassified school survival guide lol
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Comments (146)
ss_super_sad 0
@ #56: You won in epic proportions.
looneyben5432 0
look at this way, now you have an interesting rule
BeeHappy_fml 0
Omg yes I totally felt this!!! OW my hand hurts just thinking about it!!
hbomb5150 0
that's baaaad
volleyball244 0
aren't you required to give the students a safety test before they use power tools?... apparently you need to take one too
G_thelegend 0
how can you TYPE? shouldnt it be like, badnaged and stitched and whatnot?
Nympho_Ninja 0
And you're posting an FML how? FYL, but you seem like a dummy so it was probably your fault.
hihowudern 0
lol number 12 so tru
effarve 2
i call total bullshit! there is no way your leaving your hand there in one spot after you feel the pain from the drill bit for one second... bullshit