Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
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Top comments
nokillnobeepbeep 0
I guess wood and penetration aren't always a good thing.
passwordis_fml 2
u know, there are safety rules to avoid such things, haven't u learnt from ned's declassified school survival guide lol
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Comments (146)
OneSadGuy 3
I love the pun in his name. Oh and by the way... careful being around kids now. That kid was trying to make a new "hole" because his girlfriend wouldn't let him in hers. Guard that hand. Guard it!
edogyo7 0
Oh yeah, and thats why your typing and that stuff. Shouldnt you relax your hand. And if you were just using the other hand, thats a waste of time. Real Smart Buddy..
angryseatroll 5
I'm actually gonna call fake on this. First of all. Why would you be on the computer, with a bad bandaged up hand...? And second of all, it's hard to dobthibgs like that. Unless you use the equipment improperly.
Mish_fml 0
Fake. x: I wouldn't even go on FML if that happened to my hand. :/
michaelcarell 0
faaaakkeee
jessxoxo28 5
OUCHIES!!!!! but how did u even write this fml if ur hand got drilled?
sf22189 0
Weird. Out of my 5 shop classes (including metal and wood classes) we were never allowed to hold the material. How are you a teacher? Use some damn clamps! YDI
R3nesmee 0
Idiot! I was in shop class and my teacher made it perfectly clear to keep your hands AWAY from the dangerous end of a power tool. Sheesh...
Skellig 2
Had you considered learning how to use tools before trying to teach others? Might have been clever, h-uh?
invdrd 0
clamps?