Goddamn mayo

By Jay703 - 03/08/2016 02:21 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, while taking out a jar of mayonnaise, it slipped from my hand, landing on its lid, exploding, and covering both of my dogs from head to tail in it. Terrified, they fled, leaving a trail of globs of mayo. After cleaning both dogs and the house, they both threw up from eating too much mayonnaise. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 557
You deserved it 1 287

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What I'm wondering is how big your jar of mayo was

That's kind of like saying don't use doors when you accidentally jam your finger.

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Well on the bright side, at least it didn't come out of the other end too...

I'd prefer that end tbh

Next time, don't buy mayonnaise!!

That's kind of like saying don't use doors when you accidentally jam your finger.

But doors don't fill you with diabetes

How much Mayo do you think people eat, just right out of the jar by the spoonful? It's a condiment only good on certain things, if you don't have too much, it won't hurt you. Everything in moderation.

diabetes? from Mayo? and here I thought you got diabetes bc your pancreas gets all whacky.

What I'm wondering is how big your jar of mayo was

hey there 2simz! this is OP, wow didnt think i'd make it to main page! to answer your question, it was kraft mayo w/olive oil, 30 oz bottle. its PLASTIC... but i have ceramic tile floors. Try it if you doubt me. Word to the wise, do it outside. TRUST ME. Plastic condiment lids break into many pieces when dropped on tile.I just wanted to share my misfortune. ☺

These things were sent to try us, Op. I think you handled it very well.

I have terrible morning sickness, and this FML just triggered it. Fyl, though, OP, accidents happen, but mayo-vomit sounds particularly awful.

You're five years old?lol

Are you trying to suggest that only five year olds drop things or something? I don't get it.

It could have been worse! As I was reading the fml, I was expecting the dogs to panic and cut themselves several time trying to take of pieces of glass. I'm glad I was wrong, though.

this is why i get plastic mayo containers you know the one you squeeze

tbh I didn't think they made glass jars of mayonnaise anymore.. just plastic. and I was also thinking how landing on the lid side down might actually prevent it from shattering? maybe? And was this like an economy sized jar of mayonnaise 'sploding on 2 chihuahuas? long story short this FML baffles me.. a lot of them do now that I think about it...

That's really bad but I have to say this is the funniest fml I've read in a long time

I dont know some of them can be pretty funny

I feel bad for laughing at this, like I'm sure it must have really sucked but its also fucking hilarious. F your life man.