Today, after 6 years not wanting kids, my wife suddenly wants them with a desperation I’ve only seen in the drug addicts I work with wanting their fix. I still don’t want children, so now we just don’t have sex because I can’t trust her to take her contraceptives, or somehow tamper with my condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife wanted sex, but dropped the bomb that she wants another baby, because our other kids are grown up now. This ruined the sexy vibe we had going and now she’s mad at me for not wanting sex, and for not wanting another baby when we barely survived parenting the other three. FML
Today, for the last two years of trying for a baby, my wife has been secretly still on the pill and takes a morning after pill every time we had sex. Funny, I thought we both wanted a baby, so I guess she doesn’t. FML
Today, as usual, my wife only wants to have sex to reproduce. As soon as she falls pregnant, the shop is closed. She doesn't care about my sexual needs, saying if I was really that horny, I should go sleep with some else. I'm not that guy and if I do get the guts to do so, I‘m afraid she will hold it against me, and take the kids and our savings. FML
Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML
Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML
Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML
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Top comments
Hangryko 32
Get a vasectomy.
mattiagardin 15
Look out, she might be trying to cover a pregnancy she already has from someone else
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Comments (5)
mattiagardin 15
Look out, she might be trying to cover a pregnancy she already has from someone else
Chazzster 32
I was wondering if I was the only person that thought had occurred to. Turns out, no, somebody thought that too…
Hangryko 32
Get a vasectomy.
J_Free_Woods 29
They don’t always work. My friend’s husband had 3. She had her tubes tied twice.
poopface82 25
So get the snip already, chief.
andrewgr 4
I got a vasectomy when I got engaged, because we agreed not to have children, and we didn't want to worry about birth control failing. If you're sure you never want kids, it's quick and painless; and if you want, you can specify that you would like it to be reversible, in which case they can do a slightly different procedure and you'll wind up with a pretty high (but not guaranteed) chance of being able to change your mind later. (Note: that was 24 years ago for me, so it's quite possible the technology has changed.) However, I don't think this is something you do on your own if you're married. You and your wife need to agree on whether children are in your future or not, and if you can't agree, then you should end the marriage now, so that both of you have the most amount of time to find new partners. Also, I'll echo what other people have said: if you frequent forums on infidelity, sometime women really do get pregnant through an affair and then try to have sex with their husband as soon as possible, even if they've been through a long (multi-month or even multi-year) dry spell. I don't think it happens very often, but it happens often enough that I've seen it reported at least a handful of times.
SpookyOne 9
Just go get fkn sterilized yourself then.