Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend's parents for the first time… while they were bailing us out of jail. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML
Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML
Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML
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Top comments
zebrapattern 6
be like "Neither are you, which is why you're sitting around the house with a bunch of old hags."
skyeyez9 25
Why are some parents so cruel to their children? Damn. Even if a parent has an ugly child, they should never admit to it! People don't choose how they look when born. You're limited in your appearance even if you have money for plastic surgery. It can only do so much.
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Comments (60)
taniaaaaa 0
WHAT A BITCH !! if I were you I would have smacked her. I'm just sayin'.
NeverShoutElissa 0
Just gotta love mom's.
Illyssa_fml 4
She's just jealous haha
rogerover 19
I think **** is the word you're looking for
tylr6024 0
what the **** is a "mum" it sounds like a retarted 4 year old trying to talk. makes sense that brits say it
rotflmao14 0
It's mom
Storme 16
Actually, the OP is from Australia, where they spell it 'mum', 'mom' is what Americans say.
TylerDirty 15
lol nice mom :p
xRezSynn 15
Ouch, but you proved her wrong!
darcislove 18
who is she? lois Griffen?