Allergies, Babysitter and Kids: Demon child

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 777

You deserved it 3 384

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hard no

By badsitter - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 668

You deserved it 348

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 903

You deserved it 1 662

SPIDERS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 7 349

Quick learner

By BubbaCat - 24/04/2023 10:00

Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 194

Judgemental

By ugly - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 397

You deserved it 4 531

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 101

You deserved it 2 479

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 952

You deserved it 6 198

Sticky boi

By emonsteadman - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Denton

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 627

You deserved it 3 431

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 908

You deserved it 2 499

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 995

You deserved it 3 901

martin4770 0

Friday 8 January 2010 15:53

#1 I wouldn't go back

GoddessDigi 12

Friday 8 January 2010 15:56

..And this is the reason my husband may interact with our child, but not actually TEACH her anything. He'd do this, I know he would. FYL, she's too smart.

Comments

MakeupBurn 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:22

WTF, stupid little brat. Don't go back to them.

Darrus 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:23

Anyone else reminded of King of Queens??

null_fml 11

Friday 8 January 2010 18:27

Nope, but I'm reminded of The Simpsons. Peanut shrimp, anyone?

HeaRTs_Girl 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 6:11

Haha, my thoughts exactly. Classic. :-P

souper_fml 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:26

We have an evil scientist in the making.

Sappheyes 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:29

Most peanut allergies aren't triggered by a small amount of skin contact. Even for those that are, just cover your skin and hands with towels and rags, maybe put a rag over your mouth if you don't want to breathe it in, and start wiping it up. She doesn't have an endless supply of peanut butter. As for the baseball bat, perhaps catch it with a towel? It doesn't seem like it would be too hard to wrest a baseball bat away from a little girl. F her Parents' Life for raising a little brat.

Blacksabbath211 9

Sunday 4 July 2010 4:57

2 dangerous if the kid flails around. personaly, I'd call her parents, then the cops

fridgebeh 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:30

yeah kids are evil

devynnleigh23 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:33

you fail. this might be the coolest kid out there. not saying you deserve it, just that you fail:)

HeaRTs_Girl 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 6:13

How is she cool? She sounds like a psycho little ******. I would have beaten the shit out of her if she pulled that shit with me.

NeonWar__ 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:58

this is so true. kids can be like that! FYL!

terror_twins 0

Friday 8 January 2010 19:17

that child is crazy! haha

CallMeHush 0

Friday 8 January 2010 20:02

That child is pure evil genius, do not nap at that house no matter how late the parents stay out. She will be silently waiting for you to let your guard down.