Love, Awkward and Seduction: Deluxe Memory Man

Deluxe Memory Man

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 10:55 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 197

You deserved it 124 209

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Same thing different taste

By hihipanda - 30/08/2009 12:58 - Singapore

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 515

You deserved it 3 329

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 692

You deserved it 43 452

By 6u174r_d00d - 10/08/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 040

You deserved it 6 124

Creepy

By Dummy - 10/11/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 627

You deserved it 16 048

By philderichmond - 14/06/2009 02:24 - United States

Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 147

You deserved it 17 568

Party animal

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 16:58

Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 1 288

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 200

You deserved it 78 610

Denied

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 14:02

Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 295

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 576

You deserved it 69 594

Feels bad man

By toobad - 02/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 085

You deserved it 6 747

YLIF 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:02

I'm suprised she was even talking to you for a while if she was still pissed at you. But YDI, obviously.

r1cthj 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:02

wow man, wtf?

Comments

Rach17 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:18

What an idiot you are. Seriously, how hard is it to pick up your phone, dial a number, and actually call the girl?! And how large does your ego have to be to say: "After charming her with my usual crap..." Man-*****. You deserved that.

fml_account 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:31

i agree

paris78_fml 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:32

lol this made me laugh. sorry, but you got what was coming to you.

ithedarkknight 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:42

BIG Deal there are plenty of other girls out there...

jessxoxo28 5

Tuesday 28 July 2009 23:13

lol!!! nice going wats the point of getting her # if u'll never call?

redblueviolet 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 23:16

Just the way you wrote this FML shows that you're a selfish, manipulative bastard who treats women like they're objects instead of individuals. Now, in saying that she's already met you, she could have been lying or she could have been truthful, but either way, she's seen through your facade and realizes that you fail at life and you're a horrible excuse for a human being. I wish she would have slapped you. Or kicked you in the balls. Change your ways or burn. As a side note, I'm surprised no anti-feminist trolls have commented yet.

redblueviolet 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 23:18

Just the way you wrote this FML shows that you're a selfish, manipulative bastard who treats women like they're objects instead of individuals. Now, in saying that she's already met you, she could have been lying or she could have been truthful, but either way, she's seen through your facade and realizes that you fail at life and you're a horrible excuse for a human being. I wish she would have slapped you. Or kicked you in the balls. YDI. Change your ways or burn. As a side note, I'm surprised no anti-feminist trolls have commented yet.