Death Grips

By Anonymous - 03/03/2020 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I knew my girlfriend's dad owned a security company. What I did not know was that he treats his employees like family, so my girlfriend has about 40 scary uncles who’ve known her since she was a baby, and most of them are ex-military. FML

agreeclassic 2 119

vote type 1 411

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Scared straight

By Anonymous - 29/05/2019 00:08

Today, I find myself in an unfortunate situation. I met my girlfriend's family and it turns out she's the baby of the family with 7 older brothers, a dad and a granddad, and 6 uncles. That’s 15 very large, very overprotective men I’m sure all want me dead. FML

agreeclassic 2 415

vote type 1 389

Oh nooooo

By Fucked. - 26/04/2021 07:59

Today, my supervisor at work is now my father-in-law. My girlfriend told me that. FML

agreeclassic 831

vote type 1 191

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

agreeclassic 37 213

vote type 1 3 819

Spiritual leader

By Anonymous - 13/03/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML

agreeclassic 1 350

vote type 1 112

By Dom - 31/05/2019 12:00

Today, I proposed to the girl I have known for a while, since our Dads have worked together for 40 years. After I rang my Dad to tell him the good news, he told me that there was a position open at work, which had belonged to her Dad. My Dad had to fire him. FML

agreeclassic 1 999

vote type 1 142

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 14:00 - United States

Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

agreeclassic 22 221

vote type 1 109 384

By .... - 08/06/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

agreeclassic 71 858

vote type 1 3 279

By jack - 23/04/2012 02:43 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

agreeclassic 30 014

vote type 1 2 314

Great, just great

By Norwegian - 02/06/2012 16:55 - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

agreeclassic 29 090

vote type 1 7 497

By daniel55 - 18/02/2013 00:11 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

agreeclassic 39 412

vote type 1 5 873

mackdeezy 22

Tuesday 3 March 2020 21:35

Well, as long as you aren't planning on overstepping your boundaries, you really have nothing to worry about, right?

Kristoffer 35

Tuesday 3 March 2020 22:19

I see this as an absolute win. Treat her right, and that's an army on your side. Treat her wrong, and.... well let's just say, don't.

Comments

randybryant799 20

Monday 2 August 2021 19:53

I guess you'd better not be a dick to her.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my daughter was complaining about having no friends. My son told her it’s her own fault for attending church 3 times a week and trying to convert everyone at school like a Jehovah's witness who you can’t shut the door on. He’s 100% right but now she won’t stop crying. FML

agreeclassic 909

vote type 1 353

Today, I had to tell a bald cancer patient that no, having cancer did not entitle her to a 100% discount on coffee. I felt like a douche for saying it, but I work at a well known coffee franchise and I’m not losing my job because someone wants free coffee, no matter how ill they are. FML

agreeclassic 514

vote type 1 91

Today, my ex-husband officially became my stepdad. FML

agreeclassic 96 071

vote type 1 4 876

Today, and because our relationship is getting serious, I asked my boyfriend about his stance on having kids one day. He practically projectile vomited on the carpet, which is probably not a good sign. FML

agreeclassic 669

vote type 1 230

Today, I was feeling pretty proud of myself for building an Ikea shelf/dresser combo completely by myself. When going to put the last drawer together, I dropped one of the boards. The corner landed perfectly in the middle of my phone screen, shattering it. It's going to cost $230 to fix it. FML

agreeclassic 1 434

vote type 1 301

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

agreeclassic 16 930

vote type 1 1 414