By Oh dear - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 28520 You deserved it 2714 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML I agree, your life sucks 67095 You deserved it 24470 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - London Today, I told my mom about the rough time I'm having over my recent break-up, and how I can't help thinking about my ex every single day. Her attempt to console me involved saying, "Pft. I bet he doesn't think about you every day" and walking away. Thanks. FML I agree, your life sucks 33354 You deserved it 6234 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML I agree, your life sucks 39130 You deserved it 3104 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By savanna(: - United States Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 28028 You deserved it 17809 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Netherlands - Delft Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML I agree, your life sucks 28454 You deserved it 3108 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alex - United States - Elizabethtown Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML I agree, your life sucks 22002 You deserved it 2948 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By traumatised Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML I agree, your life sucks 1971 You deserved it 253 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By claubea11 - Puerto Rico - Ponce Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 40667 You deserved it 13682 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By professionalmedicineman - United States - Arlington Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I forgot the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "medicine man". FML I agree, your life sucks 13008 You deserved it 2885 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sleepdeprived - United States - Falmouth Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 46953 You deserved it 9734 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aeghw1s - United States Today, I started my new job at a restaurant. I am going to be the mascot that stands by the road to wave down customers in a heavy polyester animal suit. The high today is 102. I work 12-4. FML I agree, your life sucks 37940 You deserved it 6301 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML I agree, your life sucks 34520 You deserved it 3648 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - London Today, even though I'm overweight, I was feeling alright about the way I looked in the historical costume I'm required to wear by my job. A little kid came in and asked me if I was having a baby. Guess I don't look as good as I thought. FML I agree, your life sucks 11608 You deserved it 1389 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 70983 You deserved it 6254 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blovesg - United States Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML I agree, your life sucks 41261 You deserved it 538015 797 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By are you kidding me Today, I learned the venue owner and producer for the musical I'm in is under criminal investigation. What for? Three separate sexual assault incidents and putting cameras in our dressing rooms. FML I agree, your life sucks 5491 You deserved it 294 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ToxicSiren - 6/2/2021 14:01 Judge and jury Today, I posted a picture to Snapchat about being depressed. My close friend, who I share most things with, made fun of my post. That's the last time I share anything with her. FML I agree, your life sucks 691 You deserved it 158 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pissy Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML I agree, your life sucks 10281 You deserved it 1030 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katsuria - 25/7/2020 14:01 Unreasonable Today, my mother disowned me because I wouldn’t fill out her visa application for France so that she can see her boyfriend. The reason why I refused was because my husband and I are on our honeymoon, and would like to spend some time together. I guess that makes me a “useless” daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 1449 You deserved it 117 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nick - France Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML I agree, your life sucks 27929 You deserved it 8230 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anza - United Kingdom Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML I agree, your life sucks 9138 You deserved it 59237 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tacoma Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML I agree, your life sucks 42017 You deserved it 3413 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By earplugsplease - United States - Saint Paul Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 47928 You deserved it 3570 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By melly - United States Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML I agree, your life sucks 27426 You deserved it 10642 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By *cough* *cough* you're a dickface - United States - Mckeesport Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML I agree, your life sucks 27176 You deserved it 1931 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmldailyyy - Ireland Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 40891 You deserved it 3059 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I am sorry Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML I agree, your life sucks 3824 You deserved it 176 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Omaha Creepypasta Today, I was laying in my bed and discovered a couple of stray black hairs scattered about. This was odd considering I have light strawberry blonde hair but I forgot about it only to later see my hair brush have more of the same black hairs. I live alone. I'm scared. FML I agree, your life sucks 13536 You deserved it 801 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By miley098 - United Kingdom Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 43701 You deserved it 4671 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stewiesclone - United States Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML I agree, your life sucks 22822 You deserved it 3017 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden Lovely bundles of joy Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML I agree, your life sucks 43948 You deserved it 3823 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotAPrincess - United States - San Francisco Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML I agree, your life sucks 30216 You deserved it 12557 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By apparentnerd - United States Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML I agree, your life sucks 32607 You deserved it 7851 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Loki16 - United States - New York Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 8420 You deserved it 736 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By itisobviouseinstein - United States - New York Today, a bible toting evangelist on the street ambushed me and asked me what my religion was. I wear a hijab. FML I agree, your life sucks 24720 You deserved it 3669 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cocacola999 - United Kingdom Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML I agree, your life sucks 41639 You deserved it 7740 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maggu - Denmark Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML I agree, your life sucks 31090 You deserved it 7381 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Findlay Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML I agree, your life sucks 42659 You deserved it 9979 400 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CharlieKearney - Sweden - Uppsala Today, the guy I made out with on New Year's Eve finally called me. Too bad it was to blame me for the picture of us which someone had sent to his girlfriend. I never took a picture, and had no idea he was in a relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 22050 You deserved it 1887 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By corrupteddevil | 12 #7700185 - Thursday 27 September 2018 15:21 Nothing but net! Maybe he should play basketball? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By corrupteddevil | 12 #7700185 - Thursday 27 September 2018 15:21 Nothing but net! Maybe he should play basketball? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 710 You deserved it 48 4 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 883 You deserved it 309 6 Comments