Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML
Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML
Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML
Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
808Boyo 4
You should have said, “Nah, I just stopped by to say **** you! "
boomsl4ng 11
Thats really mean tbh! What an idiot! But why didnt u text her back asking where would u go and stuff? Fyl
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
ALpein 0
I am laughing (more like chuckling) at how ridiculous that is. Really, if you had said that to me in real life, I'd have laughed my ass off. It's not even the saying so much as the fact that after that, you feel justified to 'walk out like a boss'.
AllSoul 23
Don't worry Yamster, I laughed, I then imagined Nico in GTA walking away from the fire like a boss. Yes, I'm a girl who plays GTA.
ALpein 0
@27 No one asked? I play it too, who cares. Because you're a girl, it's unusual? Hm. Not really.
Birdie_Sage 0
You should've replied to the text before going to her house. That was a mean way of welcoming you... "what do you want" XD
DocBastard 40
ALpein - I don't believe anyone needed to ask her anything. That's the beauty of the comment section - anyone can say anything that conforms to the rules. Your comment is a perfect example - you're free to act like a dick, and I'm free to tell you that you're acting like a dick.
AllSoul 23
Dude, calm down. It's just whenever I mention it, people find it hard to believe 'cause I'm a girl.
missy73 3
I'm thinking op did respond to get a time to pick up bitchface. Should have said nah I just wanted to see the gang bang I heard u were doin tonite
missyj0 12
I don't know where you're from but here it's pretty common to be a girl gamer. Minecraft anyone? :D
Theniceppl 0
That's when you say "No, I'm just here to take your sister out. "
dabomb1463 0
What if she didn't have a sister?
MaceFaceLOL 8
Or her sister died in a horrible texting and driving accident.
PoeSlayer 0
I agree with 36. Yeah it's cool and all but it's not a rarity like it used to be.