Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
Today, here in Canada, my father-in-law talked to me about how people who are "not Canadians" are destroying the country. He called me an "import" several times within the course of an hour. I've been a citizen for over twenty years. FML
Today, while on vacation, I met up with a friend I have been playing with online for years in person. She took me to her place and introduced me to her family. Her mom gave me a judging look, and her first and only words to me were, "You ain't getting your green card from her!" as she condescendingly walked away. FML
Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said, "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild." FML
Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML
Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
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Top comments
pieintheface 0
Russian accents are badass
hombrepollo 0
Don't worry.. Take the comforting words of Rebecca black... Everybody's Russian
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Comments (209)
milky0candy 0
Make her watch Twilight
jasminea 0
wait... why does it say jersey? if your grandma says they have to look British?
geeksaresexy 18
Jersey not NEW Jersey... Jersey is a British crown dependency off the coast of Normandy.
Person1233 13
Well, only 35% of Jersey is "british", so she's partially correct.
geeksaresexy 18
Where did you get that statistic from? All the Channel Islands are considered part of the UK.
osteobabe 13
The Channel Islands are not part of the UK, however they are British. I know this because I was born and grew up in Guernsey, and am classed as an international student when I study at an English university.
daxter136 0
She doesn't know what country she's in
kittyLoveZombiez 0
Awh that sucks Hun :/
brianjman14 23
How does someone look 100% British? Isn't the only difference is the accent?
ogle5431 1
And bad teeth.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Tell your gran to stuff her complaints up her butt.
perdix 31
I think "gran" took on the crazed xenophobe persona just to soften the blow. She really means that YOU are ruining the town.
KoolKids87 2
Maybe it flew over her head, try not to take it too personally, because she probably didn't mean to hurt you.
blasted1989 0
sounds very ignorant if her!
lakerz24 0
Take all her money and ditch her and I she asks why u left say because ur not 100% Russian