Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML
Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, my date went off on a 30 minute tangent about how MGTOW is going to be good for society and blah blah blah. He was going to get lucky tonight, as I really wanted some dick to be honest, but he talked himself out of any chance whatsoever by boring me to death. FML
Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
Today, I tried to step out of my comfort zone and go out with a guy who’s not my usual type. He spent the whole date griping and complaining about how women never go for “nice guys” like him. When I pointed out we were currently on a date, he said, “I mean hot girls.” FML
Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
Today, while on a date with an amazing guy, I burped. He called me a disgusting pig and immediately left. I have burped a total of three times in my life and have therefore never learned how to control it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JillianJuneBug 39
With a mentality like that I hope you stay single. Men deserve better than to be generalized like that.
RichardPencil 32
And women are always complaining about not being able to find a nice toilet! How can we nice guys please you people!?!?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (18)
Brightside86 31
At least he was up front with you about his needs and didn't waste your time.
samhjr2003 2
think it's morr to do neither the men u date. rather then it be all men
stewy78 2
That’s why you should pick up dudes with screen names like peeonme or lemmegetthatpee52
stewy78 2
Gotta be careful picking guys with lemmegetthatpiss74 as their nicknames.
spinningrecords 14
Why don’t you globalize your problems, because ALL people suck. Stay single and the problems will solve themselves
spinningrecords 14
Then quit looking for guys on the Golden Showers site!
gidonene 7
insulting half the worlds population including your father because you've had a couple shitty dates makes perfect sense
noonereally 6
I mean, there's a common denominator here.