Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 21:24

Today, while driving home with mom I felt really sick. When we got home, I realized there was a big cute soccer team playing in the field behind my house. I walked up my back deck, to go in the back door, I watched the guys play soccer, and out of no where I threw up. ALL over the deck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By blltformyvlntne - 15/05/2009 21:20

Today, I had nothing better to do than reach the 477th page of bumper stickers on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By female - 15/05/2009 21:19

Today I am $151.89 overdrafted in my bank accound...for a $1.74 charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 21:18

Today, my father enjoys making smacking noises & moaning every he drinks his soda. Essentially making out with it. He's gotten more action from a drink, than I've had with a person for an entire year. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By rainyrainy - 15/05/2009 21:18

Today, I walked home in rain, hail, and tornado watch because my mother was at a casino. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By ale_adorisio - 15/05/2009 21:16

Today, i went to the mall. while there with my boyfriend we began to have sex in the changing room. the lady in the room said i had to buy the article. it cost $1,200.FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 21:16

Today, I had to go to the doctor. My ex, who was my first and I was his, told me he wanted me back, so we had sex. Then I found out he had been with another girl who probably has diseases. I feel disgusting while I wait for my STD test results to come back. I'm 17. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By mysecret - 15/05/2009 21:14

Today, I spent the day packing since I am flying back home tomorrow. I had a pizza delivered but chose to finish packing and throw out the trash. 30 minutes later I realized I threw out my pizza with a bunch of empty cartons. I haven't eaten all day, I have no food, and the pizza place closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 21:13

Today, my boyfriend and his friends were playing this game they made up. They grab each others "boobs" and then laugh about it. Stupid, right? But while they were doing this, I realized my boyfriend hasn't even grabbed MY boobs yet. We've been going out for 2 months. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By last - 15/05/2009 21:11

Today in gym class we were picking teams and it came down to me and the slow girl in our class. She got picked before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By loneliness-sucks - 15/05/2009 21:11

Today, I started leaving myself truth box comments on myspace of what I would want people to tell me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By guessticles - 15/05/2009 21:10

Today, after getting our yearbooks signed, my group of friends and I went to celebrate at a nearby restaurant. Afterwards, plans were made to go to a friends house and chill. Apparently I wasn't involved when the plans were being made. I was driven home and forgotten. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By kristakatie2 - 15/05/2009 21:09

Today, i found out that this really hot boy has herpes. Last night i slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By Tania - 15/05/2009 21:09

Today, My boyfriend and I were getting it on,and he decides that he wants to do anal. I was still in the mood,so we ended up doing it. Well he didn't know that had been constipated for the past two days! So while he was...I accidently shit on him! Shit was everywhere! I was so embarrassed! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By Ihatethiscrap - 15/05/2009 21:08

Today, while working at a daycare, a three-year-old gave me a hug because I fixed a toy for her. After she ran off, I realized that the hug was the only contact I've had with a human female in over two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By FabseyWabsey - 15/05/2009 21:07

Today my mother woke me up at six in the morning to tell me that she feels "like she fucking failed me as a mother." My mother thinks I'm a failure.....Today I'm graduating from high school with high honors. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 21:07

Today, my fellow classmates voted me biggest slacker. I'm ranked in the top 2% of the class and have a full ride academic scholarship to LSU. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Cheyenne - 15/05/2009 20:52

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said that is because we dont see eachother often...he lives down the street. FML

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You deserved it 0

By littlejacks55 - 15/05/2009 20:52

Today, while at the hair salon with my sister, the hair dresser asked who was older, me or my 11 year old sister. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 20:50

Today, my friend accidentally kicked a closed locker and it bounced open. It looked really cool, so I tried it. It just wouldn't open, so I kept on kicking . Everyone was laughing at first, but then they stopped and looked behind me. I turned around to see the vice principal watching.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 3

By Um - 15/05/2009 20:50

I accidently walked in on my mom and dad having sex. It wasn't my mom.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Adremelechk - 15/05/2009 20:48

Today, I was told that the prestigious concert that I was to perform in is from 2-930pm. Turns out, the performers are our own orchestra program and I can't back out. I am a percussionist who was tricked into waiting 7.5 hours to play one note for the Orchestra program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By gedanken - 15/05/2009 20:48

Today, my girlfriend said we should live together for a day and see how it goes. She wants to do a test run before she chooses "this product." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By lifeless - 15/05/2009 20:46

Today, I was on YouTube for 9 and a half consecutive hours - watching episodes of "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody". I'm 21 years old and have nothing better to do with my time.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 3

By ew - 15/05/2009 20:46

Today, I was hit by a stream of liquid while walking to my back door. A man above me yelled "You fucked up the V!" I looked up to see that he had been peeing from the fire escape and was spelling his own name on the pavement. My head was the cause of the gap in the middle of the V in "Kevin." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Mildew - 15/05/2009 20:44

Today, I officially received exam exempion status from my European Literature teacher. I had to confirm my exemption with one of the office ladies. She said that I had to take the exam because of an unexcused absense. I missed that class for the sake of getting caught up with school work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Barbie_Jane - 15/05/2009 20:43

Today, I met with my ex to give each other our stuff back. We had been together for over 2 years and it was kinda emotional for me. All he could pay attention to was the paint bubbles he had on his car. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By boyler - 15/05/2009 20:42

Today i had to go to court for a ticket i received for texting while driving. Texting while driving is not illegal where i live. I wasn't even texting, my friends were. I have to pay $175 for my friends texting because i don't have the money to pay court fees and i wasn't appointed a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Iamawesome951 - 15/05/2009 20:41

Today I was getting on a plane home after breaking my leg on a skiing trip. I was just about to board when they said there was something wrong with my ticket. After analyzing my ticket, they said my ticket was not valid. I had fractured my leg in two different places. It was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By fishing - 15/05/2009 20:41

Today i was out fishing with my friends on my parents new boat, we didnt catch anything so we decided to ski instead so i went to the front of the boat to change into my ski pants, about 50 yards away was a boat full of girls so i flashed them my package, they laughed and made small dick jokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 4

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The Top

Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 334

Today, my mom filmed our friends running into each other with exercise balls. One of the balls got lost, and I was seen in the video running to retrieve it. One commenter in the video said she "loved the woman running for the ball." Last time I checked, I'm not a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 211

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 835

You deserved it 9 054

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 042

You deserved it 2 277

Today, I've recently been promoted to a VP at a bank. Despite this, in my parents' eyes, I will always be that idiot two year-old who refused to put his pants on at the cinema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 120

Today, I invited a friend that I hadn't seen a few years to a baseball game because I knew they're big baseball fans. They ended up trauma dumping on me for two hours.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 188