FML : Your everyday life stories

It’s right there in the name: “Nearly FMLs”. These are FMLs, but not quite. They’re nearly FMLs. Here you’ll find the FMLs that were voted for positively by our users and that are waiting to be validated (or not) by the FML team, along with those that we rejected for being too similar to previous FMLs or not funny enough to our discerning tastebuds.

Today I was saddened to realize my favorite pubic hair had fallen out. Then I was even more saddened by the realization I have a favorite public hair. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Thursday 24 January 2019 02:00 /

Today, I had been feeling very ill, so I asked my partner to clean the house whilst I got some rest. Instead of touching any of the cleaning, he gamed and watched youtube until 6am, where he crawled into bed and woke me. I had to clean up the house and my own vomit after cleaning made me sick. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Zel - / Tuesday 22 January 2019 00:00 /

Today, my dad told me that my trip to London (to visit him) has been cancelled due to 'work issues'. My departure was scheduled the day after tomorrow and the tickets were booked 4 months ago. Also, my school trip to Croatia (scheduled for April) was cancelled earlier this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By sean the sheep - / Monday 21 January 2019 20:00 /

Today, no actually on Christmas day, I found out that my boyfriend slept with someone else while we are trying to fix our long distance relationship. He said it's because I was far and he was lonely. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Mehhh - / Monday 21 January 2019 14:00 /

Today, it's Christmas. I don't know if I'm single or in a relationship. My partner doesn't want to split but he's also not making an effort to save the relationship. We haven't spoken or seen each other in over two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By UnknownRelationshipStatus - / Saturday 19 January 2019 00:00 /

Today, I spent Christmas alone with my one year old son who cried all day and refused to take a nap at all.. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Friday 18 January 2019 18:00 /

Today, I finally got my car back from the shop. Even though it said it had an "engine system malfunction", the mechanic says everything is fine. It took more than a week to tell me nothing is wrong with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "Kaluhaluha" - / Thursday 17 January 2019 14:00 /

Today, my mother came to Christmas high and gave me coupons and beauty samples for Christmas. I don’t even wear makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Thanksmom - / Wednesday 16 January 2019 16:00 /

Today, I found myself yet again crying because my boyfriend is angry and doesn't want to speak to me. What did I do, I hear you ask? I got upset at him for kissing a girl at a party. I think he's going to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Pushover - / Saturday 12 January 2019 02:00 /

My job consists of paperwork and coaching. I hate paperwork but do it so I can continue coaching, which I love. I had surgery on my back and now I can only do paperwork for the next 6-10 weeks so I can keep my job and not get hurt. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Elizabeth Ann / Friday 11 January 2019 18:00 /

Today marks two years since my boyfriend found his Christian faith and decided that he didn't want to have sex anymore until marriage. 7 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Sexless - / Friday 11 January 2019 16:00 /

Today, during foreplay my husband asked if I found him sexually attractive. When I asked him back after a yes, he was silent for two minutes then went into a ten minute philosophical discussion on the nature of attractiveness. He would find me more attractive if I weren’t his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Too available to be sexy - / Friday 11 January 2019 12:00 /

Today, after much soul-searching, I realized that I may be transgender. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is exclusively straight. I have a choice- stay closeted forever, or break my girlfriend's heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By StuckInTheCloset - / Wednesday 9 January 2019 20:00 /

Today, I was asked why looked so tired. After talking about my 14-hour workday yesterday with two jobs and getting home at midnight with a 9am shift Today, my 20-year-old coworker tried to one-up me by bragging that she got home at 4am after partying. I have to work with this lazy idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By HolidayOverwork - / Wednesday 9 January 2019 04:00 /

Today, my parents eagerly showed me kittens on the internet because they think buying a kitten will help me feel better after the guy I’m in love with broke up with me. When I said it wasn’t going to fix me, my mom suggested a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By booboo300 / Wednesday 9 January 2019 00:00 /

Today, I found out I was rejected a job at McDonalds, despite being assured I far exceeded the job requirements as well as having a personal endorsement from a friend who has worked there for the past 2 years. They've hired drug addicts and I couldn't get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By / Sunday 6 January 2019 04:00 /

Today, I told my husband I was taking him out for a birthday dinner date; it was actually a surprise party I'd arranged with his friends and family. We were a few minutes away when his mother called him to say she would be late. Surprise ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Unsurprised - / Saturday 5 January 2019 20:00 /

Today, tomorrow, and every day before and after, I will still be a sociopath who thinks they want to have a real, positive human connection. Why do I think I'm a sociopath? As soon as I get close to someone and they open up to me, I find myself hating every minute of it. Yes, I deserve it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Whoops - / Friday 4 January 2019 04:00 / United States - Denver

Today I expressed my feelings towards my best friend but he rejected me because I have small boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Ugly - / Thursday 3 January 2019 19:12 /

Today, it’s my birthday. My husband said he has a surprise for me. He seemed really excited, so I was too. His big surprise was that he put a new toilet roll on after he finished with the old one. He was dead serious. That was my birthday present from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Greeeaaattt - / Thursday 3 January 2019 16:00 /

Today while on holiday with my entire family, I realised that I have no respect for the adults in the family because they behave more like children then the children in the family do FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Disrespectful - / Thursday 3 January 2019 00:00 /

Today getting ready to host his mom for Xmas my husband suggested he should go see a foreign film - previously unmentioned as he "knew" I had no interest apparently. 10 years ago we feel in love over foreign film and until 4 months ago watched one just about every week. He has no memory of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Bee - / Wednesday 2 January 2019 18:00 /

Today my girlfriend cancelled coming over for Christmas for the 3rd year In a row.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By / Tuesday 1 January 2019 00:00 /

Today, a customer of mine at the restaurant I work at decided not to tip me, instead opting I "keep the change". That was nice of him, but I don't think he realizes it doesn't work that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By TipYourWaitress - / Monday 31 December 2019 18:00 /

Today, my husband said I was wrong for asking him to remove a girl off his Facebook who he went on severals dates with. I only asked him to do that when he said he was keeping her to spare her feelings, and wouldn’t delete her if I ever expressed unease. He doesn’t see that as putting her first. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Whatajoke - / Saturday 29 December 2018 05:00 / United States - Portland

Today, after finally finishing all my college finals, I was ready to go to spend a relaxing Christmas break with my family. Only to find out that I had to unpack my mom and dad's new house, and they expected it done before Christmas. Christmas is in less than two weeks and my mom is a hoarder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By girl - / Wednesday 26 December 2018 20:00 /

Today, I was flirting with this boy who is an exchange student at my school. He has never given any indication that he is taken. When I asked him out, I discovered he had a girlfriend back in his home country. We just stared at each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks

That could've happened to me

By Nona - / Wednesday 26 December 2018 18:00 /

Today, in class I saw a boy who always makes jokes about me wearing a bracelet. I knew this could be my chance to get him back for all the years he had been mocking everything I do, so I said his bracelet was sh*t. Turns out it was a charity bracelet for his dying brother... FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Wednesday 26 December 2018 04:00 /

Today, I got married. My husband and I just wanted to spend a romantic evening together to celebrate. He came down with a nasty bug and slept for 16 hours straight. I spent my wedding day drinking and crying alone. I feel guilty for being so upset, but can never get this day back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By SadWife - / Tuesday 25 December 2018 16:00 / United States - Aurora

Today...I found out that my best friend/boyfriend has to move to a different part of Texas because his mom is sending him to Military school for 6 years.I will never see him again and he was the only guy I’ve ever trusted.FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Tuesday 25 December 2018 18:00 /

Happy birthday !

See all birthdays

FML

Today I was on a date with a beautiful girl and had just finished a $300 dinner when my father called claiming my dog died, of course I left my date and...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today I was chatting with the morbidly obese cleaner. After asking her if she had any time off over the holidays, she answered that she hadn't, but she...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

Loading data…

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

See all the World FMLs

See all FML photos

Spicy

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year...

I agree, your life sucks

Phew, glad it wasn't me

See all the Spicy FMLs