FML : Your everyday life stories

It’s right there in the name: “Nearly FMLs”. These are FMLs, but not quite. They’re nearly FMLs. Here you’ll find the FMLs that were voted for positively by our users and that are waiting to be validated (or not) by the FML team, along with those that we rejected for being too similar to previous FMLs or not funny enough to our discerning tastebuds.

Today I met my old love I havent seen in 30 years. We are both married with kids. After talking 5 minutes with her, I fell in love again. It isn't mutual. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Jolige Japie - / Wednesday 6 March 2019 04:00 /

Today, like any other day, I am married to a narcissist who doesn't have a job and never makes any efforts as a father or a husband yet continuously has new and new expectations, requirements and remarks for the way I should behave around him and pouts like a schoolgirl when I fail to deliver. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By whatever - / Wednesday 6 March 2019 02:00 /

Today, it's been almost 3 weeks since Christmas. It's also been almost 3 weeks since I sliced my thumb open on a (gift) knife from one side to the other and required 6 stitches. On top of that, no insurance means two grand in debt that I don't have.... FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Hayden=WorstLuck - / Tuesday 5 March 2019 02:00 /

Today, my Grandma got engaged to her boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I'm still playing house with my Baby Daddy of three years. Starting to think he will NEVER pop the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Never Getting Married - / Sunday 3 March 2019 16:00 /

Last month I pulled a prank on my co-worker by putting red pepper flakes in his water. He responded by strangling me to the point of blacking out right in front of our boss. Today I found out one of the co-workers I'm close with still keeps in touch with him and updates him about everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "Evan Swaney" / Saturday 2 March 2019 18:00 /

Today, we have lost our internet connection for whatever reason. That means my husband and I have to eat without watching TV, and doing so we realize that we have nothing to say to each other anymore. I think we are going to divorce if we don't get back our connection quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Plusdeconnexion - / Saturday 2 March 2019 04:00 /

Today, my mom screamed at me for an hour for giving my sister an STD. Not only am I a virgin, I'm an only child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Friday 1 March 2019 17:00 / United States - La Vista

Today was the first time my fiancé hasn’t cuddled with me. We have been together for two years. His parents highly support cheating for some reason. He has been saying a girls name in his sleep-Adrian. But he said that he went to bar with his bro, “Adrian”. I searched on fb. It’s a past girl he knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Rach - / Monday 25 February 2019 16:00 / United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out from a coworker that the guy (another coworker) I've been going to for strictly sex is in a relationship with another girl and didn't tell me. Even when I have no expectations, I get screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Sunday 24 February 2019 20:00 /

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to elope, but didn’t know if it “would be worse to tell my parents we got married or keep letting them think we’re living in sin.” Basically it would be worse that we got married so soon rather then just living together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Saturday 23 February 2019 21:00 / United States - Newcastle

Today I tried to drop a philosophy class because I have a credit I can transfer. The registrar told me no because since the new year makes it out of date, even though they were closed for the holidays so I couldn't do it sooner. Guess I'll learn what reality is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Ihateschool - / Friday 22 February 2019 16:00 /

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a massive argument because I suggested he should get a part-time job while studying. The same boyfriend that i have been supporting for almost a year of him being unemployed. Im paying his rent, bank loans, gym and food.. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By notsoclever - / Thursday 21 February 2019 23:47 / Australia - Ashfield

Today, my boss told me she doesn't care if customers complain and told me I needed to leave my desk with a line of 10+ people waiting to be helped because the task she wanted done is top priority. 3 days ago I was scolded due to a customer complaint and told customer satisfaction is my top priority. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "duckiemarie5468797" - / Monday 18 February 2019 14:00 /

Today after literally 1000s of texts, hours of chats and banter, my co-worker and i admitted that we love each other but can’t leave our own partners for a myriad of complicated reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By DDT - / Monday 18 February 2019 03:00 / United Kingdom - Leigh-on-sea

Today is day 28 since a corrective surgery on my urethra. During my recovery I made my wife cum twice while my catheter made erections excruciating. She still hasn't had sex with me and accused me of "treating her like a sex object" for asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ManNeeds2019 - / Sunday 17 February 2019 09:00 / United States - Dallas

Today I broke off my passenger mirror because there was a huge carpet sticking out of a trash can. I hit it barely going 10 miles an hour and now its going to cost 200+ to fix. fml

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "carmasinclair" / Saturday 16 February 2019 08:00 / United States - Salt Lake City

Today I found out that my landlord is switching to a property management company, and it will take 2 weeks for my rent to get deposited to them when I send it, when I could just go across town and pay it in cash before. My rent is due in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Fanci - / Friday 15 February 2019 21:00 / United States - Luxemburg

Today I was on a date with a beautiful girl and had just finished a $300 dinner when my father called claiming my dog died, of course I left my date and rushed home only to find out that my dog was perfectly fine and my dad was hallucinating the whole thing. The girl didn’t believe me... FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Guntho - / Friday 15 February 2019 18:00 /

Today I was chatting with the morbidly obese cleaner. After asking her if she had any time off over the holidays, she answered that she hadn't, but she told me she'd have 4 months off in 2 weeks. When asked what she'd be doing she told me she'll be giving birth in 6 weeks. Hadn't noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By snouche - / Friday 15 February 2019 16:00 /

Today, I got yelled at for twenty minutes at work because I said, "What?" the wrong way. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Upsetwolf - / Thursday 14 February 2019 20:00 / United States - Boise

Today my mom told me she wasn't gonna pay for my trip (meant to be an Xmas present). I bought the tickets while on the phone with her verifying that the price was ok & that she was still on board. Wouldn't be going on this trip if she hadn't told me to. I'm a poor college student, in debt. FML....

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Kyrie - / Friday 15 February 2019 02:00 /

Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a boy. When I told her she can’t, she said “Then I want to be dead.” She’s 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By mades - / Wednesday 13 February 2019 12:00 /

Today, I went back to school after I was sick. When I came back, I found out that my assigned seat had been graffitied. It said my name, and, “Is a bitch”. All my friends say that I am the nicest person in school. Then, I heard someone talking about having revenge, because I asked for a pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By BeastieHouse / Tuesday 12 February 2019 14:00 /

Today, after a two years being cheated on, I finally get a good one night stand only to throw up after drinking too much and starting my period midway through... FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By kiki / Tuesday 12 February 2019 04:00 /

Today my wife got mad at me because my parents bought me a new phone for my birthday. Now she wants a divorce. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By MansNotSkilled - / Monday 11 February 2019 04:00 /

Today my wife got mad at me because my parents bought me a new phone for my birthday. Now she wants a divorce. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By MansNotSkilled - / Sunday 10 February 2019 16:00 / United States - Anchorage

Today, I have to force-feed my crying, screaming, writhing one year old the first bite of every single meal I give her, before she happily and eagerly gobbles down the rest of her food. If we're not home, I have to choose between leaving her whiny and hungry or being suspected of child abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By momoftheyear - / Monday 11 February 2019 00:00 /

Today I tried desperatly to keep my girls quiet while my husband took a nap after working a night shift. He decided to work nights. I have a two year old who wants to play because that's what kids do. He woke up pissed for not sleeping at all and yelling at me for not controlling our kids... FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By New stay at home mom - / Friday 8 February 2019 04:00 /

Today, I wore loafers without socks to work. I didn’t know that my boss had the office carpeted while I was on vacation and had banned shoes on it. I was the only one who didn’t know that rule and ended up being barefoot all day while my coworkers openly mocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Damn Carpet - / Thursday 7 February 2019 14:00 / Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, a girl and I matched on Tinder. She had only one picture and she didn't say anything about her, so I messaged her "hi" so I can start a conversation. She unmatched with me a few hours later. This is the second time it happened in less than a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "Boyufd" - / Thursday 7 February 2019 16:00 /