Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 11:39 - United States

Today, I got my dad a $300 gift for Father's Day. He didn't say thank you, or that he liked it, he just took it and moved on. Not sure why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 19

By BaxBakeman - 19/06/2021 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call form my doctor informing me that I've developed a severe gluten and wheat allergy, and that I should avoid being around either at all costs. I'm a Baker and just signed a lease on a building I was planning to open my own bakery in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 18/06/2021 07:29

Today, while I was really high, I pissed myself in front of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 208

By loving it - 17/06/2021 03:48

Today, I’ve been married for 8 days and I haven’t had sex with my wife since then. I’m 24 and she’s 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 64

By Daniel C. - 16/06/2021 18:32

Today, it's my birthday and I’m getting more happy birthday wishes from spam emails than actual people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 22:02

Today, I realized that, despite working hard and studying a lot to get a PhD and a decent job, I still make less money than a vapid youtube celebrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 26

By Blue Toad - 10/06/2021 23:38 - Australia

Today, after supporting QLD in the State of Origin for the last 20 years of my life, I found out that I was actually born in NSW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 68

By dino-rex - 10/06/2021 21:58

Today, we are once again in full COVID lockdown. I live in a tiny apartment, I'm pregnant and the only thing that helps me sleep is walking for an hour or two at night. Exercising outdoors is allowed is between 5 am and 9am. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 25

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 08:10 - El Salvador - San Salvador

Today, I decided not to show up at school to teach my English classes for no reason so I called and came up with an excuse. At 6:58 am, the light went out. I start my classes at 7:00. It’s noon already and I still have no electrical service. Plus, my cellphone data sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 116

By Mario Hugo - 09/06/2021 21:21

Today, my fiancée is in the ICU because a drunk Taxi driver collided into her car last night. We were going to marry in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 9

By melinq - 09/06/2021 20:06

Today, I wanted to take the dishes out of the washer so my mom had less work. I did, turns out they were not clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 62

By Jonathan - 08/06/2021 21:19

Today, I got my discord account hacked, which was linked to my paypal, which has no security. They drained my bank account of 100's of dollars. Now my discord account is banned, and paypal directly messaged me they refuse to refund the breach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 27

By Anonymous - 08/06/2021 10:02 - Germany

Today, I asked my mom nicely to maybe not put the wet dog food where I tend to step in it. Her response? Putting even more and bigger bowls of even wetter dog food there, then laughing at me when I mentioned it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 26

By now what? - 08/06/2021 01:08

Today, after 18 years together, my boyfriend and I split up. I’m 32 years old and have only dated one guy my entire life. We built our whole lives around each other. I don’t even know where to begin to start over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 23

By Karen - 07/06/2021 20:27

Today, as I was walking into Wendy’s, a huge gust of wind came and completely blew up my sundress. I was standing right in front of a window and the entire restaurant saw my underpants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 07/06/2021 13:03

Today, my brother confessed his love to a girl and she got happy. It was my crush, who I was planning to ask out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 21

By Alejandro Ornelas - 04/06/2021 08:22

Today, I'm living with my mother again because I don't have to pay for rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 92

By Kano - 04/06/2021 08:05

Today, my sister is lesbian and has far more sex than me. The girls she brings to bed are actually gorgeous, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 18:47 - United States - Delhi

Today, after 13 years of marriage, I'm finally broken. It annoys her that I'm openly affectionate, and flirt with her, and let her know that I'm attracted to her, and she has every excuse in the book for never being intimate. So I'm done trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 17:43 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my sister woke me up by punching me in the balls, then trailed me out of bed by my feet, all because I ate her sandwiches for the day. She was also horrified to realise I sleep in my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 95

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 11:24 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, after months of being told by doctors and my psychologist that my constant migraines are "all in my head", I found out I have a brain tumor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 6

By jodie - 31/05/2021 04:49

Today, my daughter came home crying because she failed a spelling test. When I took a look at it, I saw that she’d written “sail” instead of “sale,” “pears” instead of “pairs,” and other such mistakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 12

By cookiemonster777 - 31/05/2021 01:02

Today, I overheard my mom telling her friends that “her life’s ambition is to ruin Katie’s life.” I’m Katie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 8

By theanswer97 - 31/05/2021 00:08

Today, as always, I can’t touch or walk past anything without knocking it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 17

By taishi - 30/05/2021 23:51

Today, my mom refuses to believe that I wash my hands or brush my teeth, ever. I’m 17 and I do those things compulsively. What have I ever done to make her think I’m that goddamn gross? FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 30/05/2021 21:40

Today, while out to eat, my mom was concerned that I don’t drink enough water so she told me we weren’t leaving until I drank the whole glass. I ended up spending the entire night peeing because the waiter kept coming by and refilling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 10:53

Today, our washing machine broke. Just what I needed after I got fired yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 10

By shit - 29/05/2021 04:43

Today, despite my nearly impeccable hygiene, flies still land on me on a regular basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 17

By Jellie - 28/05/2021 10:35

Today, I have been awake for over 27 hours, all because my boyfriend started a fight with me and has been ignoring my texts and calls. His reason? He "doesn't want to go roller skating with me." I do roller derby, and need to practice, but I get nervous doing it alone. He's considering breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 61

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 15:45 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I just told my best friend that they forgot my b-day which was a few days ago. They ended up getting me a pencil. We've been best friends for 4 years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 14

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The Top

Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 1 436

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 013

You deserved it 8 493

The Top

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 654

You deserved it 11 079

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 155

You deserved it 4 423

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 161

You deserved it 4 040

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 141

You deserved it 24 362

Today, I received an email telling me that the t-shirt I ordered almost a month ago as a Christmas present for my brother had finally been delivered. Unfortunately, it was delivered to my college dorm, which is 2 hours away. I won't be able to pick it up until mid-January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 446

You deserved it 988

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 7 232