Anonymous · 16 August 2025, 03:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Promises, promises

Today, I was feeling frisky so I promised my husband he’d get some at bedtime. He promised not to hold his breath. When I asked what he meant, he told me it’s been 83 days since our last shag, and in that time we almost had sex 16 times, only for me to change my mind, hence not holding his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 You deserved it 937

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Ouch · 12 August 2025, 20:00 ·Stourbridge, United Kingdom

Time to change the will

Today, as I'm terminally ill and have less than a year to live, I told my wife that she could see other men so long as she continued to care for me until I passed. She clapped and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693 You deserved it 103

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Somebody fucking kill me! · 12 August 2025, 12:00 ·Mexico 🌶️ Spicy

Change of plans

Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298 You deserved it 130

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Stupid dog · 11 August 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

To serve and protect

Today, my boyfriend was giving me some good dick, only for us to be interrupted by banging on the door. He had to jump out a window. Serves me right for cheating, huh? Except I'm not married, it was just my psycho overprotective pit bull who smashed the door open when he heard us moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 You deserved it 246

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Gwen · 7 August 2025, 20:00 ·Kolomna, Russia 🌶️ Spicy

To infinity and beyond

Today, it's much easier to get things on now in our 40s than it was when we were younger. However, if I want to boost things even further, I don't need adult movies, but an episode of the Buzz Lightyear show from 2000s. This guy gives me such a girl boner that my husband now calls our sexual stuff "Lightyearing around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 379

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Ungrateful asshole · 6 August 2025, 20:00 ·Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Unreasonable!

Today, we have everything we can want: money, a house, two lovely kids, and great family relationships. My husband just asked for a divorce. He wants to blow all this up because we haven't had sex in over a decade, even though I gave him permission to masturbate to porn years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 You deserved it 1 829

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poopface82 · 6 August 2025, 09:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?

Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358 You deserved it 143

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Anonymous · 5 August 2025, 20:00 ·Namibia 🌶️ Spicy

Classic

Today, I found my girlfriend in bed with her gym trainer. They said they were doing cardio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516 You deserved it 79

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Gwen · 3 August 2025, 20:00 ·Kolomna, Russia 🌶️ Spicy

TMI, dude!

Today, at a party, we played the game where the person next to you needs to say something nice about you. My neighbour didn't know me well so he just pointed out I nicely smell like mint. That's when my drunk husband exclaimed, "My gal loves eating my ass, so that's just her mouthwash you just smelled!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 480 You deserved it 154

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Gwen · 1 August 2025, 20:00 ·Kolomna, Russia 🌶️ Spicy

So, when a man loves a woman…

Today, I'm really puzzled about explaining what he saw to our 6-year old. So, he walked in on us mid-sex, which itself would be barely acceptable if there were only the two of us, his married parents, but actually a dead drunk threesome between my husband, his best male friend, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 658

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Anonymous · 31 July 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Just out of curiosity, where is this place exactly?

Today, I wanted to take my wife and kids to visit some of my favorite hiking trails while visiting my hometown. It would’ve been great, had it not been for the fact that several horny perverts think fucking outside is a great idea. We stumbled upon at least three couples out in the open before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 129

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Anonymous · 31 July 2025, 12:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Breaking news

Today, I found out my parents still enjoy sex in their 60s, whereas my wife put an end to our sex life because she was tired of faking her orgasms. I had no idea she was faking, I thought our sex life was good, if she’d have told me I’d have done something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499 You deserved it 143

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Anonymous · 30 July 2025, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

I'll just order an Uber…

Today, our third date went so well, we went straight back to her place, tearing each others clothes off. It was only afterwards I noticed what a shithole her house was. Clothes and mess everywhere, broken furniture, overflowing cat litter boxes. I could even smell her unwashed bedsheets on my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389 You deserved it 215

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Anonymous · 29 July 2025, 09:00 ·Los Angeles, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Get it on

Today, I was really excited because the guy I was seeing invited me over for sex. His house was messy, but I looked past that. The final straw was he wouldn’t make his dog get off the bed so we could get it on. He actually got offended and told me to leave because, “What? She’s just lying there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 119

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Ew you freaks · 26 July 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Pervs!

Today, I was taking my daughter to the hotel pool, and she was excited so she ran ahead to the door to the stairs, I heard her scream so I went running. When I opened the door, a man was getting a blowjob from another man, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER! FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 You deserved it 102

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HotAndBotheredAndSad · 25 July 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

One simple trick

Today, I finally made my fiancé orgasm with oral without his help. He asked me what I did differently. It turns out, I was just sad and depressed because he hasn’t made the effort to make me orgasm in months. I can’t ask without feeling like I’m intruding on his busy schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313 You deserved it 137

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Boner Jim · 24 July 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Uninvited

Today, my girl came home and said, "I'm gonna jump in the shower, I'm horny as fuck." Naturally, I assumed that was an invitation, so I lit some candles quickly and hopped on the bed, waiting for her. She got out, looked at me funny and said, "The fuck are you doing? I want to masturbate. Get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 563 You deserved it 146

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Anonymous · 23 July 2025, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

**** brainrot

Today, while playing cards, me and my boyfriend were getting super competitive and started wagering sexual stuff. His first and only choice: anal. Why only anal? All the time anal, there’s hundreds of other things to try, why do men always go straight to anal? It’s gets boring after a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342 You deserved it 245

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Anonymous · 22 July 2025, 03:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Concerning

Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 You deserved it 547

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Pierced · 17 July 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Body horror

Today, my husband came home with his dick pierced. I shrieked in horror and told him to get it away from me. He's now sulking that I won't indulge his weird impulse and am refusing sex until he removes the piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327 You deserved it 321

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Anonymous · 11 July 2025, 20:00 ·Creil, Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Mixed signals

Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 You deserved it 149

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Anonymous · 2 July 2025, 20:00 ·Riverside, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Someone needs a good talking to

Today, my husband once again woke me up in the wee hours to have sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great but as soon as he nuts he rolls over and goes right back to sleep. I however am stuck awake and can’t get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498 You deserved it 151

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Anonymous · 2 July 2025, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Coulrophobia

Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500 You deserved it 116

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jess · 1 July 2025, 20:00 ·Tokyo, Japan 🌶️ Spicy

Man's best friend

Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 172 You deserved it 588

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Anonymous · 1 July 2025, 03:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Unacceptable

Today, I found sex tapes on my husband's computer of me and him. Not only have I never done a sex tape, we were doing stuff I’ve never done before. Turns out he got an AI to make them, since I don’t do that stuff for him, he thought the acceptable alternative was to make fakes to wank over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309 You deserved it 555

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Anonymous · 30 June 2025, 20:00 ·Al Ain City, United Arab Emirates 🌶️ Spicy

Frustrated girl

Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352 You deserved it 180

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Anonymous · 29 June 2025, 20:00 ·Sacramento, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Enjoy the ride

Today, I found out my boyfriend is a sex addict, so now I don’t know if he even actually likes me, or if it’s just that I’m “adventurous.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 You deserved it 129

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Ugh · 25 June 2025, 20:00 ·Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Adding insult to insult

Today, a month after our breakup, my ex sent me a glorious butt pic. This was followed up with, "Wrong person, please delete that." I asked her for two years to send me sexy pictures, and she always refused, saying it was "too slutty" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435 You deserved it 126

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RIP · 24 June 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Routine

Today, two years after marrying my fun, adventurous fiancée, she's turned into a whiny, nagging bore. Date nights are now "eat leftovers and watch reality TV nights" and sex is once a month, with her asking, "Are you about to finish? Are you almost done?" the whole way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476 You deserved it 178

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Anonymous · 22 June 2025, 20:00 ·Altoona, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Surprise!

Today, after my girlfriend had said she was cooking surprise dinner for me this week, the crazy thing is I came home early from work and the surprise dinner was she was eating some dude's cock and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569 You deserved it 123

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