Crush

So close, yet so far

By Anonymous - 08/12/2022 04:00

Today, while talking to my close female friend whose roommate I have a crush on, I learned that my crush shaves her bikini area into a heart shape. I also learned that my crush is apparently also asexual, so I have no chance with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 338

Clueless

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I told my crush I liked him. Instead of rejecting me or telling me that he might have felt similar, he decided to pretend to be dumb and clueless and just kept asking who my crush was. I found out later that he knew all along but he just wanted to ragebait me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 91

Saucy talk

By nicetoknow - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Blacktown

Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "… unlike my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 116

You deserved it 1 626

When work husbands go too far

By Ashamed - 08/09/2023 04:00

Today, I accidentally called out the coworker I have a crush on’s name in bed instead of my wife’s. The thing is, thinking about her is the only thing that will keep me hard and brought to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 646

Cool beans

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, my crush has been acting weird around me with his best friend. He's been totally avoiding me. I talked to his best friend and I asked about the vibe change, and if they're mad at me. He acted a little surprised and casually said, "No… I mean I did shit-talk you for like two hours yesterday, but other than that we're chill." FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 125

Unrequited seduction technique

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 22:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, I wanted to entice my crush by being sexy and coy, so I texted him that I wasn't wearing any underwear. He immediately blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 617

Work husbands and wives…

By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I (35) have a crush on my supervisor (55) [we're both managers). I cannot get my mind off them. They are married and have kids my age. It's not just looks, but how they treat me, feels like they actually respect me, which I don’t feel like people do. I know nothing will happen between us, but can't stop thinking about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 359

Romcom vibes

By Depresso-espresso - 09/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 520

Smooth

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I was in the cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 720

You deserved it 5 040

Not working out

By Anonymous - 09/11/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 448

Bugging out

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 16:00 - Italy

Today, there's a guy in my class who I'm very attracted to. I'm hyperconscious of him for that, and I worry about the impression I give. By now though, there have been at least two different eye contact occasions that made it look like I was staring at him when I was NOT, and now I must look like a creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 489

I'm a weirdoooooo

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I sent a text to the girl I like, asking if she wanted to "hang out." Autocorrect changed it to "hand out," and she responded by asking what I was handing out. I panicked and replied, "My love." Now she thinks I'm a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 535

Don't hate the player…

By Bugggo - 19/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my girl bestie, who I secretly have a crush on, sent me a screenshot of my girlfriend tagging me on a Facebook post, saying, “So when were you planning on telling me you have a girlfriend?” I fucking told my girlfriend not to tag me on shit in social media but she did it anyway. Now my bestie won’t talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 639

Forget me not

By Anonymous - 27/05/2026 22:00 - Lebanon

Today, I discovered my childhood crush's account after mourning our separation for years. I texted him and I introduced myself to him. I thought he would be as surprised and excited, but unfortunately he'd forgotten all about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 346

Skittish

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 91

Factor variability

By Ella - 12/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my longtime crush, who lives in Texas, got into a relationship. He turned me down when I'd confessed my feelings for him because he “doesn’t do long distance.” The girl he’s with lives in the same city as me. We both live in Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 149

Crushed

By Marea90h - 23/06/2023 22:00

Today, I realized that I kinda have a crush on my sister-in-law. Mind you I'm a woman and her boyfriend of 5 years is my fiancé's brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 275

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 122

Simp

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 588

You deserved it 40 217

No chemistry

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, It's Valentine's Day. I'm single and in college, where everyone is posting their S.O.s and going on dates. I'm intensely introverted and shy, and I have a crush but I'm way too scared to ever tell him, and I'm going to spend my evening alone studying organic chemistry. Honestly, I just feel nerdy and lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 182

Real smooth

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 675

You deserved it 8 628

Nice catching up with you

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I messaged a crush (it was mutual and we adored each other) from five years ago, just to talk. He seemed happy and we had a good convo talking about how our lives have changed, until he said, “Uh I seriously don’t remember you though, lol. Thanks for the follow, though”. then left me on seen and unfollowed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 202

Never mix business with pleasure

By Anonymous - 23/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 173

Fumbled the ball

By Cathy - 08/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I sent a message to my crush saying, “Hey, how are you?” I immediately followed it up with another message that said, “Oops, wrong person,” because I panicked. Now he probably thinks I wasn’t even trying to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 640

Crushed

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 04:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 136

By BlakeVB - 25/05/2019 14:18

Today, the girl that I had a crush on for over a year, from whom I recently moved on from, told me that she likes me. I’m dating a new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 292

Social media etiquette

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to secretly screenshot my gym crush’s Instagram story. I sent them a heart reaction instead. Then I panicked and tried to unsend it. I then accidentally did it again. They messaged me, “You good?” No. No, I am not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 526

School sucks

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had a substitute for science and I was standing at the stationary table when some other guy came over and made the thing wobble. The whole thing fell over and I got all the blame. Then I was sitting with my friends at lunch but another friend came back right when my crush was gonna sit next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 150

Shoot your shot

By Anonymous - 27/05/2025 12:00 - China - Wuhan

Today, I learnt through others that my crush will be emigrating to the US in a month's time. We've known each other for almost three years but I'm too afraid to say it. But then we will never cross paths again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 367

Tales of the unexpected

By Ryuga - 11/06/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 866

You deserved it 5 170

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 990

You deserved it 1 018

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 103

You deserved it 2 614

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 889

You deserved it 4 057

Today, our new cat, which my mum was hesitant about letting us keep because she believes they're diseased, gave us all ringworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 13 535

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 174

You deserved it 105 605

Today, i found myself talking to the rat living under my wardrobe as if he was my friend. It's only day 2 of the partial lockdown in Germany. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 186