Confused

Definitely confusing

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 10:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job, neither by quitting or getting fired. I don't know whether to be mad or confused. FML

agreeclassic 868

vote type 1 90

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML

agreeclassic 461

vote type 1 139

Not like that

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 22:00

Today, my boss told me to 'think outside the box'. I did and got lost in a corn maze for hours. FML

agreeclassic 275

vote type 1 624

Bad parenting tips

By Anonymous - 02/08/2022 10:00

Today, even though I don’t have a problem with my ex having sex, I do have a problem with her bringing dudes home, who then meet my kid, confusing him. My kid is 4 years-old asked me if the guy from yesterday was his daddy, or if I was his daddy, even though I visit him every day. FML

agreeclassic 1 402

vote type 1 204

Sorry dude

By Mystic241 - 09/04/2022 06:00

Today, I went to check my mail but there was a guy standing at the mailbox. I said, "Hey, get the fuck away from there." It was the mailman. FML

agreeclassic 160

vote type 1 1 611

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

agreeclassic 35 179

vote type 1 7 130

Love is love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 10:00 - Sierra Leone

Today, it was my best friend's wedding. The night ended with her in tears outside her hotel suite, where she confessed that she has a serious crush on me. I have a serious crush on her too. We're both straight women. I'm really confused. FML

agreeclassic 605

vote type 1 180

It's my face

By Hamza - 02/11/2022 22:00 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I took my friend to the hospital because he was sick. The doctor started asking me questions, as he thought I was the sick one. When I told him I wasn't sick, my friend was, he said, "You look more sick than him." FML

agreeclassic 862

vote type 1 122

She's just not that into you

By Anonymous - 13/03/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, and recently, I've had a crush on a woman, we've and texting for a while. She always replies instantly and very positively, but she never asks about me or initiates anything. I have no idea whether I have a chance, but probably not. There are very limited signs. FML

agreeclassic 393

vote type 1 538

Desperate times call for desperate measures

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 19:00

Today, I found out my parents only got pregnant with me because they were desperate for a bone marrow match for my brother, who ended up dying before I was born, and who I had no idea existed. What’s even more messed up is that they gave me his name. FML

agreeclassic 883

vote type 1 94

I'm confused

By confusedbagel - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

agreeclassic 43 522

vote type 1 4 119

Suspicious minds

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I thought it was going to be an intervention. FML

agreeclassic 9 133

vote type 1 45 380

Love is love, dude

By lonelyengineer - 19/12/2010 10:28 - Germany

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

agreeclassic 16 038

vote type 1 32 215

Prank or brain melt?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Woodstock

Today, my son texted me that he couldn't find his phone, so I went to go help him look for it. FML

agreeclassic 234

vote type 1 938

A Losing Battle Is Raging

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, I realized I’d been walking around a small grocery store for 10 minutes holding an avocado I grabbed but didn’t need. Too embarrassed to put it back, I guess I’m buying an avocado. FML

agreeclassic 94

vote type 1 530

A change is as good as rest

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 10:00 - Sweden

Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML

agreeclassic 444

vote type 1 218

Make up your mind

By WhatKindOfZoneIsThis - 05/02/2022 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my crush told me that she has zero desire to pursue a romantic relationship with me, and has only ever seen me as a friend. That would've been fine if we hadn't been seeing each other for almost a year, and passionately made out a couple of nights ago. FML

agreeclassic 1 160

vote type 1 220

A bug, not a feature

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 14:01

Today, I forget to remove my mask before I spitting. What a good day. FML

agreeclassic 289

vote type 1 1 422

And you may ask yourself…

By birgz - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

agreeclassic 29 342

vote type 1 21 671

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 26/10/2021 20:00 - United States - Little River

Today, my long-term partner and I decided we still love each other and want to try to salvage our relationship. Also today, a long-lost crush reconnected with me out of nowhere. The chemistry between us is insane and I can't stop thinking about him. Maybe it's a sign? FML

agreeclassic 438

vote type 1 1 295

What?

By what? what? what? what? - 17/02/2022 06:00

Today, no matter how hard I try, I simply can’t understand my professor’s incredibly thick accent. When I asked if anyone else in class was having trouble, they accused me of being a racist ass. I genuinely have no idea what he’s saying, and no one will share notes with me. Lectures are mandatory. FML

agreeclassic 1 527

vote type 1 184

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I spent 10 minutes searching for my phone while on a call. Turns out, I had absentmindedly put it in the freezer while grabbing a snack. It was frozen solid, but at least I found it. FML

agreeclassic 127

vote type 1 332

Just asking questions

By <Still_Closeted> - 19/02/2022 03:59

Today, I had a long call with my crush, the only person I have been in regular contact with for the past year. He regularly calls me to check up on me, and really cares about my interests. I'm not sure if he likes me back, or is just being friendly, and I'm too scared to ask him out. FML

agreeclassic 783

vote type 1 516

New to me

By MisterMisinformed - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

agreeclassic 8 112

vote type 1 58 280

Crisis management

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 10:00

Today, my boyfriend thinks he’s having a sexuality crisis because I convinced him to let me stick a finger up his rear-end and he orgasmed so hard that now he’s worried he might be gay without knowing it. I love him, but God he’s hard work sometimes. FML

agreeclassic 2 128

vote type 1 591

Quandary

By Anonymous - 10/09/2023 06:02 - Singapore

Today, after my boyfriend left me a few months ago, I'd accepted him back because I wanted to work things out. However, now the pain I had to go through is making me lose sleep, interest, and my self-respect. Ugh! FML

agreeclassic 216

vote type 1 682

Short truce

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 22:00

Today, it's been a week since my girlfriend has been mad at me but still won’t tell me why. Then she came on to me all sexy like, so I thought all was forgiven. Nope, she was just horny. Once she got her orgasm, she left me blue-balled, went right back to being mad at me, and still won’t explain why. FML

agreeclassic 1 446

vote type 1 361

Alexa, play "Guess I'm Dumb" by Glen Campbell

By t…… - 23/10/2021 11:00

Today, my coworkers were trying to teach me how to play a card game. There was one rule that I just couldn’t wrap my head around, even with three of my coworkers explaining it in different ways. It just didn’t make any sense whatsoever to me. FML

agreeclassic 704

vote type 1 249

No uncertain terms

By Andreww - 30/03/2025 06:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got broken up with yet again by my on-and-off ex-girlfriend. I had ended things with an amazing girl I was seeing just to go back to my ex. She'd made it clear that if things went wrong with my ex, I wasn't allowed to pursue her again. I tried to hit her up again anyway, but she told me to “take a short walk off a pier.” FML

agreeclassic 56

vote type 1 1 476

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2023 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was so tired from staying up late binge-watching my favorite show that I accidentally put my phone in the refrigerator instead of the milk. FML

agreeclassic 210

vote type 1 954

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

agreeclassic 30 138

vote type 1 5 716

Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML

agreeclassic 37 675

vote type 1 9 920

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

agreeclassic 57 722

vote type 1 4 115

Today, I was texting my boyfriend while in the car with my family. He sent a particularly racy text, and my little sister happened to look over at my phone and then asked quite loudly, "What does anal mean?” FML

agreeclassic 608

vote type 1 1 206

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

agreeclassic 26 554

vote type 1 2 566

Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML

agreeclassic 894

vote type 1 343