Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, a man next door has been coughing constantly for past 3 months and I can hear him despite closing my windows. During the day there's construction noise and at night this asshole. I asked him many times to close his windows but he won't. Now I play coughing on a speaker at the same time he starts, just to piss him off. FML
Today, and every winter day, my neighbor lets his car warm up in the driveway, even though it’s harmful to the engine as it doesn’t lubricate properly while running in neutral. It’s also illegal in my country. He still does it for up to half an hour every day. FML
Today, is the second time this week that school is delayed because of snow or "extreme ice." It's like we're Texas now, they get 2 inches of snow and the whole state gets shut down, but no, I live in Rhode Island. I gotta go to work. FML
Today, I had to give a presentation on how we can improve our department metrics to a group of dumb executives who keep confusing and mixing up IT departments. Our department is doing great, the problem is that the executives keep mixing up the departments and blame us for everything. FML
Today, I went to the pickup location where the email from Amazon said my package was, but they didn't have it. Through order tracking, I then found out that it has been delivered to the wrong location, on the other side of town. This has happened twice in a row now. FML
Today, like most days, no matter what I eat, my stomach does not agree. FML
Today, I received an email from my boss, with congratulations, announcing my promotion. I worked hard last year, so I was excited to hear this and replied with gratitude. He texted me and apologized for misunderstanding as this email was sent by mistake, and it was my coworker who actually got promoted. FML
Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML
Today, I called a jerk of a client who has anger issues. As he started yelling and losing his temper, I began recording the call. The phone exclaimed : "This call is now being recorded." He hung up. FML
Today, I forgot to take my phone out of my bathing suit pocket before I went into the pool. It's not a high-end phone, so that's not why FML. The FML part is because I was on vacation, didn't have internet access, and the phone has no external memory card, so all the pictures I took while on vacation are lost. FML
Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
Today, my boss keeps calling me by my coworker's name, no matter how many times I correct her. We all have nametags, and my coworker and I look nothing alike. There is absolutely no feasible way to confuse either of us at all, let alone all the time. I'm convinced she's doing it on purpose to test my patience. FML
Today, I completed a jigsaw puzzle. Almost. You see, there's a problem: One of the pieces is an exact duplicate of another, and the actual missing piece is… gone. So there's one empty space and one piece that doesn't fit. Words cannot describe how irrationally angry this makes me. FML
Today, I have Covid, caught during a work trip I didn't want to go on, AND my apartment has flooded for the third time since Thanksgiving. My landlord seems to have no intention of fixing the issue. FML
Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML
Today, the DMV told me I had to pay a $39 "renewal" fee for a mistake they made. After over an hour of waiting, they printed a license without a Real ID star like my previous one. Then they tried to blame me for not asking for one. I didn't have time to resolve this two weeks ago, and now Pennsylvania says it's my fault. FML
Today, I have to cross a bridge every day on my way to work. Except for this week, as the bridge was closed for repairs and the detour turned my half an hour drive into one and a half hours. Now it turns out that the bridge is irreparably damaged and has to be replaced, which will likely take four or five years. FML
Today, my brother and his girlfriend are fighting about something they agreed on YEARS ago. Every couple of months this argument comes back and his girlfriend changes the rules or the definition. I can’t believe she gonna become my sister-in-law. FML
Today, I ran into one of my classmates from high school. She’s really annoying and she talks A LOT. Honestly all I wanted was some coffee and some loneliness before my class started, but she just kept talking and talking and wouldn’t leave me alone. FML
Today, I was expecting to receive a package in the mail as I can only shop online given my current physical condition. A notification informed me the parcel failed to deliver and now it's available for pickup at the warehouse, which is 5 miles away. A long way on crutches. FML
Today, it's exactly two weeks after the second interview I had for my dream job that I felt went really well. They sent an e-mail back to me telling me that the team was really impressed with me, and that I was one of the best candidates they'd ever had. So of course they selected another candidate for the role instead. FML
Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML
Today, I discovered the office coffee machine had been replaced with a complex espresso maker. I'm so introverted that instead of asking for help, I spent the day googling how to operate it, all to end up with a cup of lukewarm frothed milk. FML
Today, my boss brought his son in as our new manager. This kid has zero experience in our industry and yet waltzed into a £75,000 job where his sole responsibility is telling me how to do a skilled job I started before he was born. Plus half the stuff he tries to tell me is incorrect. Cretin. FML
Today, I received a written warning at work for being "unacceptably rude" to an official visitor. I guess fetching the fire hose because the building was actively on fire wasn’t a valid excuse for yelling at the dozy cow stood blocking the door to “move out the fucking way.” FML
Today, my boss decided to start a sport challenge where we should set a training goal and report about achieving it. Okay, I go to the gym a few days a week, but I'm really not interested in this collective motivation crap. Later, our boss hinted that if I don't take part, I may get fired for breaking the team spirit. FML
Today, I bought a massive new puzzle to take my mind off of things. Hours later, I realized there was a missing piece. Frustrated, I looked everywhere for it, only to discover it was stuck to the bottom of my shoe, and I'd been walking around with it all day. FML
Today, my colleagues at work sitting next to me are so open during phone calls. They always switch on their phone's speaker to the maximum volume, forcing everybody to hear what they and their counterparties say. Whilst the meeting rooms on our floor are still vacant, they don't even bother to go inside for their phone calls. FML
Today, I thought I'd make my own coffee at home to save money. As I was grinding the beans, my flatmate's pet parrot decided to join the party and imitate the noise of the coffee grinder. For an hour. I ended up with a headache, a half-finished cup of coffee, and a parrot that now thinks it's a barista. FML
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