electrorawr

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San Francisco, United States
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Single

About Electrorawr

Well I like beaches, playing guitar & visual arts. Favorites bands are: MGMT, Ratatat, Muse, Sublime & Nirvana. Peace

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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The list of badges to find

Electrorawr's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 465

You deserved it 5 845

By D - 04/12/2011 07:46 - United States

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 694

You deserved it 5 594

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 035

You deserved it 18 701

By Jess - 05/12/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 702

You deserved it 75 093

Sorry to disappoint you, but…

By Anonymous - 05/12/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 276

You deserved it 12 457

For whom the bell tolls

By Christina - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 884

You deserved it 50 561

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 02:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 830

You deserved it 5 721

Rock n roll!

By christous - 22/11/2008 04:42 - France

Today, I was supposed to perform my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage, my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by, and now I'm on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 586

You deserved it 5 026

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 608

You deserved it 3 084

By murphy - 02/02/2009 10:49 - United States

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 436

You deserved it 4 148

By woo. - 07/02/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 450

You deserved it 10 922

Take the L

By Skido - 20/02/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Halfway through the show the reporter started talking about his girlfriend. The fattest man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 549

You deserved it 9 060

Dodgy

By jsw029 - 26/02/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 254

You deserved it 20 958

The nickname that sticks

By ap84 - 27/02/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My teammates waved and said "BYE POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 897

You deserved it 5 636

By TahRah - 28/02/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174 945

You deserved it 16 111

By Noname - 09/03/2009 23:36 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 053

You deserved it 6 081

By Syferix - 18/03/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 696

You deserved it 27 083

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 408

You deserved it 13 319

By caughtontape - 22/03/2009 23:06 - United States

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 369

You deserved it 20 637

Nice neighborhood

By Michaelichael - 28/03/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood, when a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken Spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. I'm a hispanic guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148 580

You deserved it 11 722