lepatterson

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About Lepatterson

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Lepatterson's FML badges

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

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The list of badges to find

Lepatterson's favorite FMLs

Don't make me choose

By Ames - 23/05/2009 16:07 - United States

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 a.m. my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because, "the cat is sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 708

You deserved it 9 070

Thoughts and prayers

By poordog - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote, "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote, "I hope she does." It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote, "I hope she dies" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 589

You deserved it 9 439

I'm fine, this is fine

By btg - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 696

You deserved it 3 667

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 19:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 513

You deserved it 6 295

By IhateThem - 14/05/2011 05:07 - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 079

You deserved it 4 714

By douglas - 17/07/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 212

You deserved it 8 264

By therundown - 20/07/2011 13:38 - United States

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 654

You deserved it 3 985

By jgdgjyfg - 25/07/2011 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 204

You deserved it 8 914

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 454

You deserved it 16 972

By Tali - 28/07/2011 06:18 - Australia

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 723

You deserved it 3 353

By dukebluedevils13 - 05/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 285

You deserved it 8 155

By iloveryanhiga - 05/08/2011 09:27 - United States

Today, my parents woke me up at 4 am and informed me of their impending divorce. They then woke me up again three hours later and told me "never mind". This same routine happens several times a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 515

You deserved it 2 421

By pimples - 06/08/2011 13:08 - Australia

Today, I was going to kiss my girlfriend for the first time. As I leaned in, closed my eyes, and was about to kiss her, she pushed me away and said, "Not with that pimple on your chin." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 507

You deserved it 6 673

guitar_god7007 tells us more.

guitar_god7007 3

Sunday 7 August 2011 14:15

Wow. It actually got through. Thanks people. Now everyone can laugh at my unfortunate existence. For those of you wondering, it was our first date, I had arranged it by phone, that's why I hadn't kissed her yet. And my pimples grow really big, really quickly...

By myheart75 - 07/08/2011 09:52 - Australia

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 552

You deserved it 5 888