raenoleah

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29 years-old
Monday 14 October 1996
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Raenoleah's favorite FMLs

Creeped out

By Baustigt - 06/08/2014 13:34 - Australia

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML

agreeclassic 41 002

vote type 1 4 596

By Cacahuete - 28/12/2013 14:46 - France - Villejuif

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

agreeclassic 42 893

vote type 1 7 376

By sam_666777 - 30/08/2014 02:54 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 41 072

vote type 1 10 415

Prank war W

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 21:03 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

agreeclassic 55 408

vote type 1 9 952

Welcome to Capitalism

By school issues - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay for school. FML

agreeclassic 50 350

vote type 1 5 302