The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Radio silence

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 08/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, my family wonders why I don't call them more often. Probably because every single facet of my life is a disaster; medically, professionally, mentally and emotionally. Who wants to listen to a radio station that has nothing but bad news playing on it? Also, no habits that will get me an early grave. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 138

Threadbare

By I was just joking - 26/01/2026 09:00

Today, I found out the hard way that other people can see your replies on Threads. I’m now sleeping on the couch and my girlfriend gave me 10 days to find another place to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 975

By frmitalywithlove - 11/01/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I'm 4'10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 665

You deserved it 4 063

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 10:59

Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 100

Skincrawling

By Wanna be a skeleton - 11/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was finally able to see a dermatologist and figure out why my skin problems are so awful. The good news is that I now have an answer: Hidradenitis suppurativa. The bad news is that it's a permanent condition. It's been making my life miserable since I was fourteen, and it's PERMANENT. Great. Just great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 90

Hey chat

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 09:00

Today, my dad learned a new way to annoy the family. Since watching some Twitch streamers that one time, he refers us as "chat." As in, "Chat, what should we have for dinner?" or "Hey chat, check out my fit. Yay or nay?" or even, "Chat, is that true?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 92

Road trip

By Rodi - 11/07/2024 14:00 - Netherlands - Ugchelen

Today, after we drove to France to go to a jazz festival, we'd arrived in the evening after a 600 km drive, and my wife made a misstep and broke her ankle, it's the next day and we drove back home. After the first toll booth, the electric car window would no longer go up, so we drove with the window open for the remaining 500 km. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 112

Just to be on the safe side

By Lenore - 02/02/2026 20:00

Today, we live in a tiny trailer. My doctor said I have celiac disease. My dad, who takes things too literally, came back with gluten-free dog food. I don’t even have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 72

No sleep for the wicked

By NightzGremlin - 12/09/2020 14:01

Today, I came home from work to find construction workers repaving my street. I work the graveyard shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 392

You deserved it 107

Goofs and gaffes

By Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 250

Archeology

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 72

My princess

By Kitty Princess - 07/02/2026 12:00

Today, I was late to work because I missed my Lyft… while it was literally in front of me. Why? I was busy telling my cat that she’s a princess and giving her goodbye pets. I looked up, and the driver was already peeling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 750

So frustrating!

By Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 138

My body is a temple

By My body hates me - 20/07/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, thanks to my eating habits as of late, I went half the day without getting hungry. I ultimately figured out this just happens sometimes, so I didn't worry. However, as soon as I crawled into bed, I got hungry. I now have two options: I can either stay awake from hunger, or stay awake from eating too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 228

Get me out of this mess!

By Anonymous - 21/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, two more years until I can move out. My mom takes up so much space in the house, even in my room, I don't even have enough space for my own clothes, and I'm not allowed to get rid of ones that don't fit. How am I supposed to survive another two years here when I have a breakdown about her suffocating me once a week? FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 106

A lot going on

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 00:00

Today, it was the seventh anniversary of my grandfather's passing. It was also my cousin's funeral (suicide). Brad Arnold's death was also announced. At the end of an exhausting day, I got dumped. Fuck February 8th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 67

By mother to an ugly doll - 04/09/2013 18:10 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 765

You deserved it 4 092

Nervous nelly

By Anonymous - 14/02/2026 00:00

Today, I had to present a budget proposal to a nonprofit board that included a donor who helped me get my first internship. Mid-presentation, my brain blanked on a basic number I’ve said a hundred times. I tried to recover, knocked over my water, soaking my notes. The donor passed me a napkin, whispering, “Breathe.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 92

What did you say?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 20:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 335

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 04/01/2022 11:01 - United States - West Sacramento

Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 1 148

Those pesky little *****

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 188

What did she do now?

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 15:00

Today, I found out that my husband, who I've just separated from, and my mother, who I don't speak to because she's crazy, have been bitching about me behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 131

By Fought The Law - 29/10/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 6 191

Payback

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 09:00

Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 125

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 05:01

Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 226

Skin deep

By John D - 01/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I saw a friend’s Instagram post. She's lost so much weight since the last time I saw her, so I slid in her DMs hoping to score a date. It was going quite well until I asked her out and she responded, “You’re only asking me out because I’m skinny now, right? You’re barking up the wrong tree” and she blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 397

Three days?

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 15:00

Today, my girlfriend of three entire days broke up with me. She said it was because she needed to recover from her breakup, but that was nine months ago, and I haven't done a single thing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 109

Real estate from hell

By pukey mcgee - 25/02/2026 22:00

Today, I learned why I got such a great deal on my apartment. It's located next to the trash chute. It smells utterly foul three days of the week, and it's the dead of winter now. I dread the summer heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 69

Surrounded

By Alyce - 10/10/2020 23:01 - United States - Lewistown

Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 464

It's never 100%

By Stuck - 05/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. Apparently, my ex-girlfriend’s arm implant didn’t work this one time we had sex during our closure talk. Now I’m stuck having a baby with a girl I don’t even love anymore, and I have figure out how to explain this to my current girlfriend, who I do love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 784

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Embarrassing Neighbours Poopoo peepee Relationship advice I need your advice Relatable Love Heartbreak Holidays Vacation Camping Mental health Annoying Scary Miscellaneous Grandparents Music Awkward Suspicious Work Insects Gross Instagram Facebook Social Media Ironic Healthy Lifestyle Fast food Money

The Top

Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 280

You deserved it 1 432

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 124

You deserved it 20 772

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 144

You deserved it 2 552

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boy's Epipen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out, and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 638

You deserved it 56 876

Today, I asked my helicopter parent mother if I could go over to a friend's house. She said no because her parents weren't there, and if she accused me of assaulting her, I'd have no defense. We're both 16, I'm gay and she's a lesbian. My mom is well aware of these facts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 163

Today, I found out just how painful it is to get a cramp in your penis in the middle of sex, especially when your wife is on top and just has to keep going for a few more thrusts because she's so close to finishing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 191