Poopoo peepee, Cops and Transportation: Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded...

By jojo - 06/05/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 517

You deserved it 12 863

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 17:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 069

You deserved it 2 829

By anonymous - 19/10/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 15 459

What he is thinking?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 297

Bladder control

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 14:00

Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 145

By driverman12 - 04/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 173

You deserved it 30 989

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 002

You deserved it 53 139

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 481

You deserved it 7 178

By Pissy pants - 24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 179

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 150

You deserved it 17 237

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 361

You deserved it 7 304

theluckygirl28 8

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:09

That's messed up... But YDI for being stupid enough to mot piss before leaving wherever you were... Or even pulling over to a gas station...

Luckster 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:07

This is why you use the restroom before you leave places.

Comments

uw82 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:01

that sucks.

Kamazar 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:05

Oh happy day, oh happy day!

BannedDistress78 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:07

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA SUCKER

Kenji_fml 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:06

Aww that sucks really hard

cristy91 33

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:07

That truly does suck my friend. I feel for you.

Luckster 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:07

This is why you use the restroom before you leave places.

Francis_fml 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:07

hahahah that's why you go before you leave the house..or wherever you were leaving from.. lol

CheezerX 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:08

wow that freaken sux

theluckygirl28 8

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:09

That's messed up... But YDI for being stupid enough to mot piss before leaving wherever you were... Or even pulling over to a gas station...

random_man1999 11

Thursday 25 June 2015 6:11

They deserve it for breaking the law

aquariusbeauty 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:10

how embarrassing. I know how that feels.

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Love Public freakouts Family Weddings AITA Bodyshaming Transportation Cops Cars Kids Sexism Work Relatable Mental health Growing old Health Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Social Media Instagram Stalker Phobias Spiders Ironic Ecology

The Top

Today, my wife was screaming at our son over his maths homework, so I poked my nose in to help calm them down. My wife was not happy when I pointed out that most of her calculations and answers were wrong, whereas our son got most of his right. I’m now in the doghouse because my wife can’t count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 72

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I learned to never put a just-bought-about-an-hour-ago-from-the-grocery-store frozen solid turkey in the turkey frying pot. My job’s banquet hall was burnt to a crisp and the fire department came. The Thanksgiving potluck was ruined. Oh, and I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 1 539

Today, I had to cut short my New Year's resolution of going to the gym daily, when the meathead next to me dropped some heavy weights, which bounced and landed on my foot. I'm sitting at home in a cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 842

You deserved it 2 481

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 795

You deserved it 5 224

Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 988

You deserved it 5 042

Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 043

You deserved it 1 668

Today, my boyfriend told me that he loved me for the first time in a way I'll never forget. In fact, his exact words were, "You're not the only one that I love." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 562

You deserved it 1 107

Same thing different taste

What he is thinking?

Bladder control

Potholing

Top comments

Comments