Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML
Teh_dw33bin4tor tells us more.
Hey, I am kind of astounded this made the front page, but I also realized that I wasn't logged in when I created and submitted this. I'm the OP. I should have phrased this better, but I was running out of room to create the FML. The actual story is that she flat-out broke up with me, and then went around and told all my friends, which happen to also be her friends too, that it was a mutual break-up, but it was my decision for the most part that split us apart, which effectively framed me as the "bad-guy". When I confronted her on it, she first denied telling her (our) friends this, then changed her story to "she couldn't think of what to say". All this while her new "boyfriend" (of 1 day) was helping her move out of my apartment. Sorry for the confusion in the phrasing.
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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Don't forget to remind her of the $50,000 that she promised to give you at the end of that conversation. If she gets to make shit up, so do you.
Michyxo 14
Well, I guess at least now you won't have to be part of any more delusional conversations with her...
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Comments (108)
DjeePee 25
Well, you could always have started that conversation at that moment...
chris274 8
Bitches be crazy. But seriously, sounds like you're better off without her OP. People who are THAT concerned with reputation annoy the hell out of me.
DjeePee 25
I don't doubt that OP is better off without her. But if he wanted a real break-up talk where his actual opinion was heard, he could have started that conversation at that moment. I simply hope OP didn't just accept it, walked away and posted about it on FML.
domking1315 20
Thats when you say "oh yeah remember right after that conversation when i gave you $50? Yeah i need that back
22cute 17
Come on - #1 is right. Was OP wearing a ball gag? If he didn't want to break up or wanted an actual dialogue about it why didn't he speak up RIGHT THEN? Sounds like OP left ALL the talking to his GF so why is he surprised that she's having talks with herself?
SirCharles83 13
20- I agree but let's face it, she was walking either way. What's the point of "being heard" if it won't change anything. Tell her to pound sand and move on to the next one.
Drigr 9
Well, 60, the FML states that she had said she wouldn't mind staying together, so where did you get "she's walking anyway" from? OP speaking up may have actually saved the relationship
SirCharles83 13
Because kind sir, IMO this was just a cheap way of dumping someone without looking like the bad guy. I guess your right, I am making an assumption here, but really no one dumps themselves.
22cute 17
Exactly! Sounds like to me she wanted him to stop the break up. Probably it was her way to get him to talk about it because she didn't know his feelings & was frustrated by that.
SirCharles83 13
71- So you are saying she dumped him just so he would stop her from dumping him? Is that rational? And if that's her way of communicating about their issues, OP is far better off with her in the rearview mirror.
_LE4RN_ 4
Unfortunately, your girlfriend is lying to you. She does in fact know that you did not make this decision, but girls (this is true) will always find a crazier way than the last to make it seem like the break-up is the male's fault.
22cute 17
72 I'm saying it's NOT atypical and it is understandable - rational? Helpful? No, not so much. But, like many females she was probably giving him that one last chance before breaking it off. If he had the emotional courage to own his feelings & desires she probably would have been satisfied. He sounds very passive-aggressive. That kind of behavior makes people nuts.
SolarGirl32 6
I agree with 72. If OP's (ex) girlfriend is the type to resort to bullshit manipulative games instead of just saying she's unhappy and wants to know how he feels then he should just let her go and find a mature girlfriend, not some game playing child.
walkern1891 0
It sounds like she was using reverse psychology lol
Michyxo 14
Well, I guess at least now you won't have to be part of any more delusional conversations with her...
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Break ups suck.
ladyLALAA 29
That's why I stay single! Ain't love grand!
AlaskanEskimo34 0
^ forever alone taken to an extreme
ladyLALAA 29
What is all this forever alone about?
A7x4REVer 3
Yeah, aint that the worst?
lebronesque73091 12
Some girls be crazy.
WCARlover 35
She sounds crazy anyway...seems like a good loss
SirCharles83 13
Addition by subtraction
Hollandiscrazy 12
Trust me, you're always better off without psychos
Calyx_fml 22
BBT.
Kazakuya 3
Bonds Beyond Time?
zachherbert 10
Big Bubbly ****?
SirCharles83 13
I thought it was Be Back Tomorrow but I don't see the relevance
flockz 20
bottom bitch tatas?
LMA0 5
Big Breasted Turtles?
Weezay 5
Bitches be trippin'.
Haiana04 3
^ that makes sense. I think he wins.
77777771 12
A mutual decision made by only her.
OuchAndGoodfight 5
^contradiction.
KunoKanashimi 3
29, no shit, Sherlock.
Honestly_Lainey 21
8- made only by her... multiple personalities?
77777771 12
29: Yes, that was the point.
77777771 12
44: OP didn't get a say in what she called a "mutual decision". Therefore it wasn't mutual. Making it a contradiction. I thought it was obvious.
The_Hitdude 12
Unfortunately, 46 common sense (also sarcasm and a good sense of humor) is probably one of the least common things among commenters between the age of 13-18 on FML...myself, THE _A_TEEN, (you, of course) and a few other people I can't remember being the exception.
PaulB123 11
Also modesty is very rare! By the way, referring to yourself as 'myself' is incorrect! I know you think it makes you sound intelligent, and you puff up your chest a little... But it's plain old wrong.
misvenus000 4
Good riddance! Your not with a crazy. You should go celebrate and have a drink :)
kimgr 9
Or you should've break up with her first
KiddNYC1O 22
No.
The_Hitdude 12
Or YOU "should've" learn better grammar and usage. Read a dictionary instead of posting shitty comments on FML.
Aedus 6
Or YOU should have "learned" how to correctly employ English grammar before correcting someone else's. :p
The_Hitdude 12
^ That was the point dumbass. Instead of saying 'should learn' I quoted him and said' "should've" learn'. Nice try though.
KiddNYC1O 22
We're dealing with past tense here so should've is correct... 10's sentence, even though it doesn't make sense, should have read: Or you should've/ should have broken up with her first.
immaMonsta 8
Sorry to say OP, but she drugged you. That's why you have no memory of this conversation. Bitches be crazy!