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Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

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Actually, I would just throw them away. You wouldn't see me using them in the kitchen after she's been at them.

#1 - On 09/04/2013 at 12:48pm by Welshite

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Hi all, OP here! I'm crying with laughter-you all are hilarious, seriously!

To respond to some questions-I discovered my roommate's predilection for silverware and kitchen implements when I poked my head into her room to tell her something and saw an open drawer with a good collection of my utensils. She was actually quite forthcoming, and explained in jaw-dropping detail some uses for a number of them.

We've agreed that she can go ahead and keep what she's "used," and that she'll replace the implements now and in future...no cross contamination, she promises.

Overall, I'm glad she's sensually creative, so I don't feel the need to resort to hot sauce or splinters! I just fear for the next time she's browsing in the kitchen-I may not be able to scramble eggs for breakfast.

#95 - On 09/05/2013 at 6:28am by Palindromesque

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