Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML
Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML
Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML
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Top comments
knsy 0
Billy Mays would have had a field day on that shit.
VorpikeII 17
Your fault? Or did someone else regurgitate the wine?
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Comments (91)
sailoroftheseas 7
What does it look like?
sailoroftheseas 7
(should of got black sheets)
urdirtyolduncle 15
Red or white ?
Roevera 14
it looks like regurgitated wine..
sailoroftheseas 7
I never would have guessed..
micahsmommy 13
If it's red then probably similar to blood.
tennisrapper1 14
Your doggy face.
Dracoboxer357 36
1- What an odd question. Are you truly interested in a description of what a bottle of wine looks like once it's puked up on some poor fool's bed? All about the details, I guess. :p
ankoku 2
I'd imagine it looks something like a cross between spaghetti and a murder scene
The_Hitdude 12
I think 1 was just looking for a quick question to ask so he could be first comment.
Cad6 24
Well OP, that's quite a "sheety" situation. ;)
KeyboardWarrior 10
Interesting 49, interesting.
sailoroftheseas 7
Like I give a rats ass about getting first comment, it could have been worse, plus who cares?
Roevera 14
you obviously care...
ankoku 2
It really couldn't have! I'm pretty sure that after a point the mods step in.
VorpikeII 17
Your fault? Or did someone else regurgitate the wine?
Cad6 24
Maybe multiple people regurgitated the wine together.
grahambertus 11
I dont know, but it sure puts Two Buck Chuck up to its name.
EyeCeYu 7
OP dont come here to WINE about it. Wow that was a terriable joke.
LouisianaBob 9
was it white or red?
Crimsos 4
It was a bottle of wine. So I guess the puke consisted of glass...
gojira666 7
You forgot to put the cork in
maszaros 9
Exactly
DontModMeDammit 10
I'm gonna say it looks like wine....
SkoomaKi 28
And stomach acid...
Tweekz14 5
With possible tiny chunks
danishbagel 3
And white sheets.
Cad6 24
Yea #34 because wine has tiny chunks in it.
omarzrgz 3
56- are you stupid?
RaggleFrock 13
Carrots! Why???
neverdrinkSODA 12
how'd that happen?
ydi_4_suking 20
Someone drank wine and threw it up after
XanderScythe 11
Well, she didn't drink soda...
DrNuggetcase 3
Hopefully it was white wine, so the vomit at least matches.
ankoku 2
Vomit never matches.
knsy 0
Billy Mays would have had a field day on that shit.
KiddNYC1O 22
Billy Mays here!
j_cat187 20
His commercials where so fun, although I did hear that he smoked crack to get the energy to make them.
BAxSoulCity 1
I loled so hard when i saw your comment
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI for drinking a whole bottle of wine.
yankfan89 27
We don't know that it was OP vomiting. It could have been someone else.
XanderScythe 11
NO4 ammonia. HCl hydrochloric acid. H2O2 hydrogen peroxide. Hahahaha I'm a chemistry lover.
XanderScythe 11
But do you work as a chemist? With RNA or OH3? I love ATP. Go cellular energy! Hooray! Thumbs up if you think I'm past high school. (wrong)
Cad6 24
#60 - Well, actually, Wine contains ethanol, which is ethyl alcohol, with the formula of C2H6O. While the compounds you stated were corrected, they were only minimally contained in the wine. You missed the most important one.
NeDaroft 5
See what happens when you try being romantic with your girl lol ? skip that & get right to the hanky panky ! if you're in bed that is.
The_Hitdude 12
The FML says absolutely nothing about OP having sex, trying typ have sex, or even having a girlfriend. You don't even know if OP is a guy.
NeDaroft 5
who has wine in their bed by themselves , & he/she never said they through up so it must be someone else ?
MigraineurOfLife 15
Now the white porcelain toilet god is upset & you owe it another sacrifice.
Dracoboxer357 36
Assuming you were the one who drank and vomited up the entire bottle of wine, then I must say, that, was brilliant. :p Lesson learned, I hope? (If you weren't the guilty party, then fyl and my apologies.) ;)
bungholio69 0
Tool alert folks