Alcohol, Drunk, Gross and Health: The Hangover

The Hangover

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Newark

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 187

You deserved it 9 982

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Same thing different taste

Geyser Söze

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 2 083

The mouthfeel

By rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 948

You deserved it 10 141

Connaisseur

By Anonymous - 06/01/2025 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 752

First impressions

By medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 993

You deserved it 8 229

By TragicallyAnxious - 10/05/2019 08:00

Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 654

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 568

You deserved it 6 206

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 928

You deserved it 4 590

Drunken mess

By SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 1 317

By disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 468

You deserved it 3 691

Pissed

By whoops - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 855

You deserved it 2 529

knsy 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:59

Billy Mays would have had a field day on that shit.

VorpikeII 17

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:57

Your fault? Or did someone else regurgitate the wine?

Comments

Llamacod 11

Thursday 22 March 2012 19:57

Are we talking red or white wine?

bchatzis 9

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:06

at least you didnt wake up swimming in the stuff

doglover569 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:27

That's an odd sex fetish... ;)

dangler1108 2

Friday 23 March 2012 3:12

Kinky one at that

juicifer 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:35

Now it's a party!

OFWGKTADGAF666 6

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:35

That's hot..

Rhcjdjmx 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:45

Bottles can reguritate

sparkjolt 10

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:54

if it's red wine you could use regurgitated white wine to clean it? :D

Skelebitch 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 21:35

Why do the majority of these sex and alcohol related FMLs come from Jersey? I've been noticing that lately. I blame Jersey Shore.

zoecw 14

Thursday 22 March 2012 22:07

Honeymooning?

Klaves66 2

Thursday 22 March 2012 22:55

i hope it was white wine

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Today, my ex-girlfriend from high school has been at her new college for a week. She broke up with me because she wanted to meet new people and leave high school behind her. That was understandable… until my best friend showed me texts from her trying to arrange to hook up with him when she’s back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 109

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 945

You deserved it 2 985

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 028

You deserved it 3 399

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 974

You deserved it 11 830

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 084

You deserved it 2 193

Today, I found out the trigger to my horrendous, disgustingly painful migraines that last up to 5 days is... Pain. My migraines are literally causing themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 161

Same thing different taste

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