When there is edible food in my fridge By Lewis - 18/12/2018 18:00 Actually, it never happens... I agree, your life sucks 259 You deserved it 84 Share Tweet Share
Today, my husband and I were talking about possibly having a threesome. In his words, choosing a woman would be "a fun new experience for us to enjoy together." But choosing a man would be "forcing me to watch you cheat, and pretend that I'm okay with it." FML I agree, your life sucks 611 You deserved it 236
Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children." FML I agree, your life sucks 48 552 You deserved it 10 180
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML I agree, your life sucks 24 319 You deserved it 94 037
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 990 You deserved it 8 911
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 370 You deserved it 16 375
Today, I dropped my phone in water, and my friends told me to put it in rice to draw out the water. They put my phone in riceroni. My phone now smells like chicken and has rice seasoning stuck all over it. Needless to say it still doesn't work. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 067 You deserved it 33 512
Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 186 You deserved it 4 393
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 006 You deserved it 107
Calm yourself!
I’ll just grab a quick snack & no one will ever know...