Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML
Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML
Today, I woke up in my boss’s sofa. I was covered in vomit, my head was hurting too much, and the only thing I could remember from the party the day before was that I was holding hands with my boss. I thought the story ended there but turns out I bit him on the neck, not once, not twice, but thrice. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
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Top comments
vffjvsegb 11
Well that will be an awkward boss/employee relationship
Voij 16
Perhaps not the most pleasant of ways to learn to regulate your alcohol consumption, what with it being your workplace and all, but better to learn this lesson now than perhaps never learning it at all.
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Comments (61)
JordynnLOL 11
You're hired!
FMLkoala 28
Why is the category intimacy?
HighasaCloud 46
Shouldn't this be under the work category? Unless he was trying to hit it at that party...?
nicolemarkovic 21
Gratulujem, málo komu sa podarí! :)
neppy 6
Maybe he just finds it funny. You can party hard and work hard as well!
CapelliRossi 3
How about exercising a little self-control there, dickless?
Tuffley 7
At least he hired you. I also made a drunk fool of myself, puking all over and sitting in the rain, at a work barbecue party 2 weeks before I started working there. My boyfriend and my BOSS had to carry me inside after I refused to get out of the rain.