Mother in law, Farts and Kids: Toot toot!

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 084

You deserved it 50 263

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Same thing different taste

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 504

You deserved it 30 111

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 747

You deserved it 14 091

By NooOOooOO - 11/10/2017 23:15

Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 324

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 171

You deserved it 7 675

F*** my overweight life

By Xibalba - 01/09/2020 14:02

Today, my 5-year-old daughter drew a picture of our family. A typical drawing for a 5-year-old. Sticks and straws. One had two round shapes on its chest. "Is that mommy and is that one me?" I asked. "No daddy," she said. "You’re this one," she said while pointing out the one with boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 455

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 038

You deserved it 2 967

It's true, though

By humiliated - 20/03/2016 11:54 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 132

You deserved it 2 359

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 353

By ohcrap - 02/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 469

You deserved it 16 123

By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 044

You deserved it 5 373

Sessee 4

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:09

Well, when I was a kid, my mom told me that lowercase M's are basically upside-down butts. Of course, I shared that with my entire kindergarten class.

lizwriteslove 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:02

Good job.

Comments

rukusrazor 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:19

#7 FTW. Kids brains are like a sponge (..bob squarepants).

darkblue_13 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:20

this makes me think of the Friends episode when Ross and Rachel sing 'Baby Got Back' to the baby because it is the only thing that makes her laugh

boone_fml 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:20

awesome.

adam10_fml 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:30

father of the year.

red_wings 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:31

When I was 4 I told my dad I had to learn a song and he taught me... "In the land of France where the ladies where the no pants and the men where their glasses to see the ladies asses..." Well I repeated to my pre-k class, and then my mom had to explain how my dad didn't think I would remember it. Its not an FML, its something happens pretty often not a big deal lol

alyssamarie218 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:32

HAHAHA

dethdethdeth 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:33

Hahaha #12 I totally though of that too!!!

alexthebrit 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:36

that's so cute =] when i was little, like still in diapers, my mom taught me to answer when i was asked if i had "sithed my pants"..."made a darth doody"...etc. it was either "stinky diaper" or "no stinkies here." cute, right? until dad decided that "shitty diaper" would be better for his 18-month old to say. so of course, that's what i started saying. at daycare. in the middle of naptime, i screamed "SHITTY DIAPER!" at my teacher. and that's how dad learned parenting skills ha ha. your faux pas could have been so much worse mate.

Demon_Squirtle 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:38

Drawing butts isn't nearly as bad as it could have been so you're lucky. This FML actually has given me some faith in humanity, after reading some of the complete bullshit kids are doing today and the parents don't care. If you consider THIS to be bad, then you are a far better parent than some of the twats on this site that I've seen. Especially the daughter-mother "go **** yourself" duo. Ugh... Just thinking about that makes me want to break a fluorescent light over the moms head.