Work: Today was my first day at work. Well it would have been, that...

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By damnyouRCA - 05/07/2016 15:18 - United States - New Windsor

Today was my first day at work. Well it would have been, that is, if my Alarm clock hadn't malfunctioned for the first time in eight years. I don't have a job now FML.

agreeclassic 283

vote type 1 27

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TOP COMMENTS

Elgrin 15

Wednesday 6 July 2016 9:58

I use a minimum of two alarm clocks for this exact reason. Maybe you should too?

Comments

Elgrin 15

Wednesday 6 July 2016 9:58

I use a minimum of two alarm clocks for this exact reason. Maybe you should too?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

agreeclassic 34 853

vote type 1 2 406

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

agreeclassic 37 534

vote type 1 11 942

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, "So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?" FML

agreeclassic 43 260

vote type 1 4 428

Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML

agreeclassic 29 840

vote type 1 2 312

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

agreeclassic 30 925

vote type 1 9 243

Today, I was called a "freeloading parasite" and had a knife pulled on me for being a landlord. I buy land, build small starter homes, and rent or sell them, generally at a significant loss, out of a philanthropic desire to ease the housing shortage. For the gratitude I get, I should just build McMansions. FML

agreeclassic 454

vote type 1 151