Transportation: Today, recent construction has created a manhole that cars slam...

By martin1022 - 05/10/2016 11:29 - United States

Today, recent construction has created a manhole that cars slam over every single morning. This normally starts at 4 a.m. as people make their early commute on my busy street. With every car that hits it, there's a huge echoing slamming noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 605

You deserved it 905

Transportation

Mama's boy

Relatable

Footloose

By Daddy Tyrone - 17/09/2018 03:30

Today, my wife bought a bright pink dildo and left in the lounge whilst she went upstairs to get changed. We didn't expect the in-laws to arrive with my niece and nephews, who were hitting each other with the - as described by my 5-year-old nephew - "big pink sword". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 091

You deserved it 721

By skigal24 - 30/05/2011 14:59 - United States

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 596

You deserved it 16 542

By isuckatlife - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 867

You deserved it 5 855

By mizzleshizzle - 09/03/2010 18:42 - Canada

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 276

You deserved it 64 603

By jigglypuff100 - 20/12/2011 00:56 - United States

Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 260

You deserved it 4 171

By blahdyblahblah33 - 03/07/2011 00:22 - United States

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 428

You deserved it 2 689

By regrub - 10/01/2010 09:14 - United States

Today, ignoring the unspoken rule of not entering the bus when the driver's not inside, I went in while he was taking a break. As I stepped inside, he reached in the window and pressed the "close-door" button. It closed on my hand. Everyone at the bus stop laughed as I yelped in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 355

You deserved it 29 615

By Sadtimes - 17/09/2009 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years because he hadn't "popped" the question. I've just spent the last 2 months helping him plan the perfect proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 737

You deserved it 3 714

By stopstutteringforSiri - 05/01/2014 21:59 - United States

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 907

You deserved it 6 082

By Confused - 23/10/2016 05:05

Today, I woke up 2 hours early to go to the physical therapist my doctor referred me to. She did confirm physical therapy will help, but she doesn't treat my issue. She’s also the only person in my city who takes my insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 482

You deserved it 617

By fuckshit - 04/11/2014 14:01

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 312

You deserved it 4 573

By Rednbumpy - 18/01/2017 08:00

Today, I was getting ready to meet my boyfriend. We haven't seen each other in a month so I decided to shave my body hair, even though I have really sensitive skin and usually end up getting rashes after a few days. His flight got cancelled and he won't be back for another two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 082

You deserved it 561

By bookworm - 19/11/2014 20:56 - United States - Victoria

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 630

You deserved it 5 886

By Hth - 15/01/2009 11:14 - United States

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 992

You deserved it 29 786

New relations

By Pat - 22/09/2020 04:01 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 64

Wait for me!

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 01:58

Today, the parking shuttle for work pulled away right as I was walking up to it. I was late to work. For the second day in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 640

By me:( - 16/07/2013 23:44 - United States - Romulus

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 532

You deserved it 5 131

By the next james herriot - 10/09/2013 23:30 - United States - Laurel

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 452

You deserved it 3 081

By fmyhabit - 15/04/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 814

You deserved it 57 281

By he's mine - 14/11/2012 07:46 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 841

You deserved it 1 864

By oxbbabexo - 14/04/2009 13:45 - United States

Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 002

You deserved it 93 788

Leave me alone!

By Jack Slate - 12/12/2020 11:02

Today, my anxious, obsessive, overbearing mother called me four times. That's significantly less than usual. When I complained to my dad, he said, "She just worries about you because she loves you." I don't feel loved, I feel smothered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 126

By weirdlove - 23/01/2010 08:38 - Australia

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 552

You deserved it 7 964

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 22:06 - United States

Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 824

You deserved it 10 270

Am I even here?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2020 05:00

Today, I got written up at work for not cleaning up the breakfast area, and because multiple guests complained how sloppy and messy it looked. I'm on lockdown in a completely different country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 11/01/2012 20:08 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 306

You deserved it 7 478

By hello - 11/07/2010 00:57 - Jordan

Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 283

You deserved it 8 793

By greg - 14/02/2018 01:30

Today, my mother sued me for whiplash in a car accident that was her fault. She screamed to stop so I slammed on the brakes and the car behind ran into us. It wasn't an emergency; she just thought she saw her friend at the bus stop. It wasn't even her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 426

You deserved it 375

Thanks but no thanks.

By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 16:00

Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 391

You deserved it 466

Mr. Nice Guy

By kate9871 - 04/10/2019 02:00

Today, while driving home, a jeep hit the back of my car. When I got home and told my boyfriend, he acted concerned but still wanted to know what was for dinner. I think I have whiplash, can't stop shaking from the shock and he's practically already waiting at the dinner table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 309

By fuzzy - 23/09/2009 10:43 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 621

You deserved it 6 835

By Andrew - 20/04/2011 16:31 - United States

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 250

You deserved it 11 674

By LG - 17/03/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 591

You deserved it 4 125

By Anonymous - 24/06/2013 18:39 - Canada - Victoria

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 762

You deserved it 5 009

By superdriver - 07/02/2011 17:46 - Mexico

Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 177

You deserved it 50 587

Compassion

By Anonymous - 02/12/2020 11:05

Today, one of my friends got upset with me because I’m leaving our high school. The high school I have been bullied at for the past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 59

Jumpy

By TheSentinel05 - 27/10/2020 12:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 196

Stay safe, everyone

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 05:00

Today, I found out that one of my workmates had passed away due to Covid-19. He was among five other workmates who were calling me a "pussy" for going back and forth to work in car, instead of public transport. These five guys were eventually infected by someone in the public transport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 127

By CBM2012 - 07/02/2009 04:58 - United States

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 461

You deserved it 3 613

By emliv12 - 25/05/2012 07:07 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 658

You deserved it 28 640

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Top comments

StormfrontX33_fml 24

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 23:33

More like F the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' lives. They can't get out to save the day.

HaveNoShame 3

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Thursday 6 October 2016 1:34

MacGyver your way out of this. Time to duct tape a yoga mat over that sucker.

RichardPencil 30

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 23:27

Park your car over the manhole so everyone has to drive around it. Problem solved.

Steve95401 49

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 23:40

The manhole is in the road. If OP parks her car there, it will quickly get smashed, towed or both.

cgarside 2

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Thursday 6 October 2016 0:44

I think that's the joke

gm1beanzz 14

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 23:27

You'll never sleep in again. Which in some cases, people need.

BanjoCheeseGuy 26

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 23:31

I suppose the only thing to do now is adjust your schedule to go to sleep at 8 p.m. Sharp for a good night's 8 hour sleep. On the other hand, #1's advice is about 1000 times better than mine.

StormfrontX33_fml 24

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 23:33

More like F the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' lives. They can't get out to save the day.

cuz803 43

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Thursday 6 October 2016 3:20

On the bright side, they're safe from Shredder

anguilla1980 5

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 23:34

First world problems lol

Tripartita 44

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Thursday 6 October 2016 0:10

Here, maybe this'll be more your speed: "Today, I spent 16 hours working the fields for the food I eat while still unable to get regular access to clean water, education, or medical aid. If I'm lucky, I'll be groomed to fight in the same theocratic army that has terrorized my family for all six years of my life. FML"

MoroseMoose 47

Wednesday 5 October 2016 23:38

Maybe a white noise machine would help drown out the sound?

AyeJay101 25

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Thursday 6 October 2016 0:24

Remember that scene in Toy Story where they hide under cones to cross the street? You know what to do

tj4234 35

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Thursday 6 October 2016 0:48

Except that he's not trying to cross the road...

retardalert 10

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Thursday 6 October 2016 1:24

Oh man, same thing is happening to me, just a bit further away, but still annoying! I feel your pain OP

novdestiny 23

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Thursday 6 October 2016 5:30

I don't know why that got down-voted

HaveNoShame 3

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Thursday 6 October 2016 1:34

MacGyver your way out of this. Time to duct tape a yoga mat over that sucker.

stormy0307 16

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Thursday 6 October 2016 14:20

You actually would need to place the yoga mat between the manhole cover and the flange it sits on as the sound is coming from the loose cover moving on the flange

klutzyduck1 24

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Thursday 6 October 2016 1:47

So is the noise coming from the fact it is hollow or that the manhole cover is loose in the hole? I know this may seem like an arbitrary distinction...but I have some ideas. If the construction has made it a permanent manhole, you could use a silicon based putty around the outside to make it fit more snugly (not to seal it shut, although I doubt anyone could prove that was you). If it's the hollowness...I don't know if putting sandbags underneath may absorb some of the noise. That one is less of an option if the construction is on going. You could just drag something heavy and flat over it every night, which I assume would buy you some time before the construction workers removed it every morning. But a crowbar and the cover of night, with an Macgyver imagination and dedication to sleep...can really achieve amazing things.

RichardPencil 30

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Thursday 6 October 2016 9:06

I think the OP owes you a consulting fee. You put a lot of work into your comment.

stormy0307 16

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Thursday 6 October 2016 14:24

It's caused by either the cover or the frame it sits on being not exactly co planar (flat). So the cover wobbles a bit in its frame. Your solution of putting some putty might work. But you would have to pull up the cover and put the putty between the lid and the frame. However as an engineer who designs roads I can in no way recommend doing this from a safety standpoint and it might even break a law or ordnance by doing so. I would go talk to either the construction workers or the city and see if they can fix it for you.