Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML
Today, I was at my usual grocery store when an elderly lady smiled at me and said, "It's so nice to see a young person not obsessed with their appearance." I was dressed in sweats, I hadn't showered, and hadn't brushed my hair. I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML
Today, I visited a waterpark with friends. At one point, a woman floating near me suddenly says to me, "How are you doing, honey?" Instinctively, I replied, "I'm well". The woman gave me a strange look and I turned around to find she was talking to her child directly behind me. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
He was only used to seeing you for a breaststroke. I take it his wife took this news less than swimmingly. In that case he will have to go freestyle if he doesn't want to end up in deep water.
UnidentifiedFun 37
Props to him for excellent word choice.
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Comments (86)
FlyingPie 17
I'm sorry, I **** hear you beacause I have an ear infucktion. Butt tit's okay, we can finger it out because we're the breast of friends.
420Zombie 17
well... I applaud the effort you put in to try to make those puns work
SexPot143 13
OMG thats classic. i would have loved to have seen her face
hanymandy 6
Let her have your left overs. ...maybe she actually wants to date you?
Llama_Face89 34
HA! I used to work as a lifeguard so I get that completely. Said that MANY times and have had others say it to me quite a few times, too. It's uncanny how different people look when they're fully clothed as opposed to wearing a swim suit.
lizzys1972 3
Classic
SwtCherryPie 26
Too funny.
botanistjessica 24
Someone said this exact same thing to my dad once. He's a UPS driver.
Hardwarre 7
Uh ooh...
pbonham 22
A good option would be to explain but that's a bit difficult when you're just passing by.... FYL big time!!
nikhilambhorkar 24
You are a teenager and married?
Steffi 26
No. The student is married.