Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML
Today, my wife got back from a "homesick" trip to NY State. She brought her boyfriend back with her. FML
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML
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Top comments
SugarRushxx 0
I think your wife needs to grow up.
saIty 17
Snooki: Worsening the life of one person everyday.
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Comments (203)
bms1996 12
jersey shore is so stupid
broomy89 8
That's what you get for watching jersey shore!!
Wheredidgrungego 12
And we wonder why so many other countries hate us.
Wreckless_fml 6
oh god..
kickblocker 18
you can't sleep on your couch?
edteach 0
if she wants to get all butthurt over that that's fine, she can get butthurt to her self or she can sleep her own ass on the floor, I would have removed the door from the wall to get to my bed .... **** snookie .... **** that retarded show...
BD_Swingin 0
Why the hell would she want to get held during that asstastic show.
wriptidez 0
she is weird
brianjman14 23
Don't blame Snooki. It's Jionni's fault.
krysxkatastrophe 14
Tell her to man up, only in a Jersey accent.