Intimacy: Today, my roommate and I finally got internet in our new house...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By anonymous - 05/04/2016 03:31 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, my roommate and I finally got internet in our new house after 5 weeks. This would've been great; if he hadn't have gone straight to the bathroom and me hear him climax 5 minutes later. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Love Awkward Students Relatable Work Racism Cheating Health Relationship advice Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats Boredom Animals Management Sexism Kids Parenting Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Facebook Social Media

The Top

Today, my girlfriend refused to have sex with me, because my underwear are Fruit of the Loom instead of Hanes. According to her, since all real men wear Hanes, I'm unfit to have sex with her because I wear Fruit of the Loom and am therefore not a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 763

You deserved it 424

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 762

You deserved it 16 300

The Top

Today, my mother-in-law came over. Probably thinking that the needles in our fridge were steroids, and wanting to do the right thing, she took them to throw them away. I'm diabetic, and they were my insulin. I went into shock after she left and had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 144

Today, I was scolding my 8 year-old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight "A"s like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair. When I asked why, he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 914

You deserved it 66 539

Today, I received a big scholarship. I was ecstatic, until I looked up the cost of tuition at that university. I still need $120K. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 557

You deserved it 2 378

Today, I had my first interview after weeks of applying everywhere, but I got turned away for being "inappropriately dressed" for the interview. I was wearing the smartest clothes I own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 481

Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 383

Today, my husband hosted dinner tonight and once again made deflating comments and called me “r*tarded sp*c” in front of his friends. They all laughed, while I had a knot in my throat. I have to stay married to him for another year and a half or else I’ll lose my green card and get deported. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 365