Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked into an automatic glass door at a mall when it failed to open. A woman asked if I was OK, so I said, "I'm fine, the door must be busted." The automatic door then opened immediately after, proving it worked just fine. FML
Today, I realized I've been saying "Excuse me" to automatic sliding doors for the past week. They haven't responded yet, but I'll keep you posted on their social skills. FML
Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML
Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML
Today, I walked up to a store’s automatic doors. They didn’t open. I waved my arms, stepped back and forward again, nothing. A staff member came over, tapped a button, and said, “It’s manual.” FML
Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML
Today, I walked up to what appeared to be an automatic door. I stood for a second, waved my arms, but nothing happened. Then a guy came from behind me, pushed a clearly visible button under a clearly visible sign that read "Push to open." He said, “It’s OK, happens to everyone.” It doesn’t feel like it does. FML
Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML
Today, I was trying to be polite by holding the door for an elderly lady in a shop. What I didn’t realise was that the doors were automatic. I ended up standing there awkwardly for a good 5 seconds, holding onto thin air, while she just smiled and walked by. A bloke behind me said, “The doors don’t need your help, mate.” FML
Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
WTF were you trying to prove?
redbluegreen 41
Older brothers will say anything to make you look like an idiot, and you can't move faster then the machine can do it's job. I can't believe you believed him.
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Comments (173)
ninja_darkstar 6
That's what you get when you are a complete fucktard
Pilotdog 10
Never trust siblings.
Brent White 15
I actually had a similar incident years ago. Some friends of mine and I were messing around with an automatic door that had a spot on the nearby floor to activate. I hit it and then headed to the door. It didn't open and I pushed it off its track as a result. A roommate later nicknamed me the door