Today, my mother warned me that if I ever have anal sex I will die. I'm 28. FML
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Top comments
By
notafoot
| 8
100% of people who have anal sex will die, it's true.
By
Tripartita
| 44
It's your biggest design flaw which your mother deeply regrets, but when she was assembling you, she was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted to pay tribute to the Death Star. Now, should anybody penetrate your exhaust port, a huge, empire-destroying explosion will ignite.
Comments
By
species4872
| 19
If you had anal in the middle of the road you might get hit by a bus.
By
Tripartita
| 44
It's your biggest design flaw which your mother deeply regrets, but when she was assembling you, she was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted to pay tribute to the Death Star. Now, should anybody penetrate your exhaust port, a huge, empire-destroying explosion will ignite.
By
BurnInDemonFire
| 30
Does that mean you have the experience to know she's wrong?
By
notafoot
| 8
100% of people who have anal sex will die, it's true.
By
Cynical_1
| 26
You mean the secret to immorality is to abstain from anal sex? Damn...why does no one ever tell me these things?
By
RichardPencil
| 27
You won't die, you just won't shit right for a month [1]
[1] from the documentary film "Bad Santa."
[1] from the documentary film "Bad Santa."
By
protoskore
| 26
to which the perfect response would be "My God, I'm a ZOMBIE?????"
By
Diana Parr
| 3
Just tell her it hasn't killed you yet
By
Amy78_fml
| 9
You'll die eventually at any rate.
By
Nfwdude
| 4
Can confirm that you won't die.........straight away.