AnalProbe
🌶️ Spicy
You have been warned
Today, my mother warned me that if I ever have anal sex I will die. I'm 28. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
SlickMcK
United States 🌶️ Spicy
STOP TALKING
Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML
Canuckboy
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Inference
Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML
Tripp
Bad start
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Confused
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML
CollegeKid
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was in the hospital for 12 hours with unbearable stomach pain. Apparently I have a horrible infection in my intestines and colon. My mom is now accusing me of having anal sex and allowing a man to ejaculate into my bum. My great-grandma believes her. FML
jared77
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML
DaoOfPow
Danbury, United States
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
imobesejk
United States
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
charliesangel123
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
You what?
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
But my grandbabiiiiiiies!
Today, my mother was sneaking through my underwear and found my condoms and the bills from the hospital where I had my IUD inserted. She then started yelling at me, saying that I didn't have permission to not have children and that, "I get to choose, not you." I'm 28 years-old. FML
Top comments
notafoot 8
100% of people who have anal sex will die, it's true.
Tripartita 44
It's your biggest design flaw which your mother deeply regrets, but when she was assembling you, she was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted to pay tribute to the Death Star. Now, should anybody penetrate your exhaust port, a huge, empire-destroying explosion will ignite.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
species4872 19
If you had anal in the middle of the road you might get hit by a bus.
Tripartita 44
It's your biggest design flaw which your mother deeply regrets, but when she was assembling you, she was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted to pay tribute to the Death Star. Now, should anybody penetrate your exhaust port, a huge, empire-destroying explosion will ignite.
BurnInDemonFire 35
Does that mean you have the experience to know she's wrong?
notafoot 8
100% of people who have anal sex will die, it's true.
Cynical_1 26
You mean the secret to immorality is to abstain from anal sex? Damn...why does no one ever tell me these things?
RichardPencil 30
You won't die, you just won't shit right for a month [1] [1] from the documentary film "Bad Santa."
protoskore 27
to which the perfect response would be "My God, I'm a ZOMBIE?????"
Diana Parr 3
Just tell her it hasn't killed you yet
Amy78_fml 11
You'll die eventually at any rate.
Nfwdude 4
Can confirm that you won't die.........straight away.