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drbckflps Mount Gravatt, Australia

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

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drbckflps tells us more.

drbckflps 22

I haven't read all the comments yet but thank you for your condolences. This is indeed the grandmother of my son and no, she didn't take the holiday as a way of grieving - it was purely opportunistic. She wasn't even polite to us at the funeral: her words to me were, "In six months when I get back you'll have forgotten this whole thing ever happened." Very disappointing. Thank you all again. I'll reply again when I get a chance to read some more comments.

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Top comments

AU_Lovebird 17

That's horrible:( I'm sorry for your loss!

UnicornWine 22

Everyone can grieve differently, but that just seems a bit heartless and opportunistic. I'm sorry for your loss OP, I can't imagine how that feels.

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Comments (211)

jayelite 6

That's some f*cked up stuff right there man. sorry for your loss

Mean_Girl 5

I'm so Sorry for your loss - and for your mother-in-law :(

timmygotlost 6

What your mother-in-law did is a whole new level and completely unacceptable. She is using the death of your son to her benefit and that is terribly wrong of her. I am sorry for your loss. Don't let your mother-in-law get to you. She's clearly heartless and your much better than that. Stay strong.

Mr23 9

I don't want to seem like an asshole (and fail, so I guess I am one), and bearing in mind that a death in the family is a massive tragedy. Why are you denying her something that's completely free to you? Making her spend vacation days won't bring your son back. So the only reason not to give her a copy of the certificate is that she "doesn't deserve" it. Either because she was aloof at the funeral, or because you think she's a bad person in general. And while that is your right (both legal and moral), I think that should be on the table. Again, I want to apologize, but this is my honest opinion. And of course, if you can bring yourself to be at her level: ask for half of her paycheck for they days you're "covering".

rocker_chick23 27

Why should she? It seems OP's mother in law didn't care about her grandson, son, or daughter in law. I would never give any family member a copy of my children's death certificate especially if it is going to be used to get out of work and basically scam the workplace.

I3PR4SON 13

There is being aloof and there is being downright nasty, vindictive and spiteful. No the op does not want their dead child used as an excuse for a jolly. I'm going to go out on a limb and say this woman has probably done a lot of spiteful things to the op and this is the final straw

drbckflps 22

A death certificate is an extremely private and personal document and one we're only planning to share with our children, not extended family and their colleagues. She could just as easily have shared the service program which contained details of the funeral and his eulogy, and in the end that's what she did after my husband told her she couldn't have access to something so private. We aren't keeping the death certificate from her to try and bring our son back or be vindictive - that's absurd. It's simply a very private document that shouldn't be waved at total strangers. It would be totally inappropriate to ask the family of a distant friend for a copy of their death certificate so it's certainly not an appropriate request to a family member.

vlalam 24

she is extremely awful

toxicLover28 19

Did that rachet woman even care about your son's death? Sorry for your loss

lina21 12

Wow. At least she's not your mother, and I assume your wife somehow turned out okay. But that's some seriously messed up pathology

tymarie2012 31

I suffered a miscarriage back when I was 17 and back in September my youngest niece was taken off of life support

brokenheartz 9

I am so sorry for your loss. I also had a son who had passed away a few years ago. My in-laws weren't very respectful toward my grieving process. In fact, they barely even grieved and moved on with their lives like nothing happened. It's hard to cut some people out of your life but in the end you have to do what's best for yourself, despite if it may bother your significant other to not want anything to do with his mother. Don't give that inconsiderate woman anything; cut her off like a hang nail.