kb
United States
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
RedheadA
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Hungover
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
psychopumpkin
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Boston, United Kingdom
Hard times
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Turnipseed3
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Double sus
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
LucyLollipop
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Neil Diamond was wrong
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
justsomesummer
Beaverton, United States
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Thanks for the info
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
United States
Well done!
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Sober
Sponsored by Popov
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
badsitter
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Hard no
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
blewidstepr
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Slippery when wet
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Top comments
Michael903 18
Parents always give what we need. Not what we want.
Welshite 40
No, you didn't.
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Comments (130)
perdix 31
Your mom has the wisdom of age. How can you really enjoy a Diaper Genie (the best baby shower gift EVAR!) when you are ******** bricks?
SininenAave 9
Maybe she knows what's coming and wants you to be prepared? Although she should have gotten you something more appropriate for the baby shower, I agree.
perdix 31
You're kind of an ingrate. Baby furniture is usually too hard, so you should happy that you can make the stools softer. I'll bet it also works on chairs, gliders and changing tables.
isabellybutt 7
Regifting has never been this fun
loserman67 36
No shit...
Gallifreya 3
In the later stages of pregnancy, that might be a godsend, baby is going to crush your intestines something fierce.
petlover7598 7
You are going to appreciate that later. Either late pregnancy or especially if you have an episiotomy.
PrincessJess87 9
Thats embarrassing in front of everyone. You should give her some at christmas.
perdix 31
#25, to really get revenge, you need to one-up your enemy. For Christmas, give your mom a douchebag.
jamieann1214 4
It's only embarrassing if your friends have never been pregnant and don't know what a godsend stool softeners really are late in pregnancy.
PrincessJess87 9
I've had a child. The gift was okay, but it would be an embarrassing gift to get in front of all my family, friends, and coworkers.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
one of the number one causes of constipation is pregnancy & you shouldnt strain after birth. at least you'll need it.
miiajayne 6
Speaking as a mother of two and having been through a natural and c section birth, you will be very grateful once the baby is here. It might seem insensitive now, but labour does horrible things to your pelvic floor.
cookiepockets 2
Agreed! I don't think some people commenting realise just how much those are needed after a baby. Here you have this beautiful baby but your body has decided to make everything harder to do, as if you don't have enough on your plate.