Work: Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later,...

By ShadowReiku - United States - Odenton

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

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fishyrael tells us more :

Hey guys. I did realize my mistake very shortly after and deleted the status before anyone caught it. My mom's business is still getting off the ground and so I would be very surprised to find out that anyone at all saw it before it was deleted. As for no one caring, my facebook is only for very close friends, so I wasn't expecting any likes or anything - just any reprieve from the dullness of what I was doing. This was not really an end of the world thing, just a little "Oh shit" moment I thought I'd share.

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By MileHighGirlGuy

Today, I almost got upgraded to business class because the gentleman at the check-in was so mortified at having called me "sir" instead of "mam." However, before it could go through, his colleague stopped him, telling me that it was "an easy mistake to make." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

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By ratqueen - Canada - Brampton

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

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By janice - United States

Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML

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By dam01 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

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By peter - Indonesia

Today, it's my birthday. I'm a pastry chef by profession. Not only did my family buy a cake from my bakery, I had to make it myself and inscribe it with 'Happy Birthday Dad'. The worst part is, they asked money from me to pay for it. FML

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By littlemissgullible - United States

Today, I was talking to an ex who I still love. He told me how much he wanted to see me, how much he missed me, and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house. I mentioned Saturday, and he said, "I can't, I have to take my fiancée to the doctor's to find out our baby's sex." FML

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By lindsey789 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

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By Mik - United States

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

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By HauntLife

Boo!

Today, rehearsals started for the haunted house I act in. As we were running through the house and reading through our lines, the set designer turned on the hydraulic pump to test something, accidentally causing a tumbling bookshelf effect to go off. Guess where I was standing. FML

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By meep - United States

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

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By Addison - Canada - Kingston

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML

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By emmingle - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

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By Isoneedtomove - United States

Today, I received an email from a shipping company telling me they had dropped off a package of expensive electronics at the front door. Too bad someone stole it before I made it to the door. FML

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By Anon - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

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By poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Carlisle

Today, I came home early from work and found my brother in my bed with a girl I've never met. Apparently he's been using my house to hook up with girls while I'm gone. FML

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By sufia - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

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By BarCrush

"friend"

Today, and for the past two months, I've been going to the bar with my friends quite regularly because I have a massive crush on the cute bartender. Being quite shy, I asked my friend if he could be my wingman so I could finally talk to her properly. He took her home. FML

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By Your ass... Grab it... - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

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By Embarrassed - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Staten Island

Date grape

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/8/2020 20:01

It's good to learn!

Today, I’m living in China and I asked my native boyfriend to read me the names of all the different goods at the bakery, so I can do more than just point next time. I realized why he doesn’t see the point, when he translated : "Bread, bread, bread, bread and… bread." FML

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By Sam - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

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By Tally - Canada

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited until I saw they were from my good friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

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By CantPoop - United States - Springdale

Today, I was telling my wife how being told to drink water all day when you're not even thirsty is "such a scam". Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain in my abdomen. The ER had to give me IV fluids because I was so constipated from dehydration. The bill was over $2000. FML

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By apparentlytoofat - 26/4/2020 05:00

Superficial World

Today, my husband said he thinks of me as more of a roommate than a romantic interest, and he’s wouldn't be that attracted to me unless I lose another 20 pounds. I was just celebrating that I’d lost 5 pounds already in April. Stress makes it harder to lose weight. FML

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By patate

Today, I was yelled at and almost fired for showing up "late" to work. I was the first one here. FML

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By slut - Canada

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

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By ohgodwhy - United States

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

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By fleatitting fame - Norway - Oslo

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

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By confused - Australia - Glen Waverley

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

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By miji

Today, for the fifth time in a row, my parents tried to discuss my pooping habits with me at the dinner table. This time, we had guests. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

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By MM

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

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Top comments

By robbilee | 14

#5639847 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:16

How many people liked it?

By fishyrael | 28

#5640827 - Saturday 24 August 2013 1:34

COMMENTS

By robbilee | 14

#5639847 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:16

How many people liked it?

Jake_Hale | 7

#5639859 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:19

You could always delete it OP.

Carmstro | 13

#5639916 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:39

5, I have a feeling that OP realized it too late. You shouldn't post things like that on Facebook anyways. It wasn't even a witty status update...

TheCanucklehead | 22

#5639925 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:46

I'm more shocked that people still update their status'

Shy_Anne | 10

#5639943 - Friday 23 August 2013 10:10

I'm sure you got lots of likes!

jessaiee | 17

#5639980 - Friday 23 August 2013 11:00

It's more like F your mum's life, OP...

tjv3 | 10

#5640836 - Saturday 24 August 2013 1:55

Wow YDI

By UnluckyGenius | 21

#5639849 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:17

Should really double check these things.

Punkyxoxo | 14

#5640121 - Friday 23 August 2013 14:43

Well say " Damn AC i meant So lucky to have my family" Kiss ass you will need it

By MsConfusedd | 27

#5639850 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:17

I hope your mom is in a good mood and her boss didn't see that

trellz17 | 19

#6423099 - Tuesday 29 September 2015 19:07

OP's mom is the boss.

By xdissizit | 16

#5639856 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:18

That's what Twitter is for. Updates no one cares about. Lol.

mangoboy1 | 19

#5640126 - Friday 23 August 2013 14:56

I think she's one of those girls that always posts pictures of her food and Starbucks on Instagram and has to remind everyone every 5 minutes how bored she is.

By tonijulie | 20

#5639861 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:19

Easily deleted. Just hope you didn't realise hours later.

amberlyyyy | 15

#5641394 - Saturday 24 August 2013 8:10

A mistake easily fixed!

By zelf_fml | 11

#5639864 - Friday 23 August 2013 9:19

You better pay up mom, or i'll ruin your business life lol

Blackcatluck | 19

#5640108 - Friday 23 August 2013 14:23

Her* if he still has to do his homework and still updates his FB status then he probably isn't old enough to own a business.

AllieCat21 | 21

#5640363 - Friday 23 August 2013 18:35

40, I'm in college to get my Ph.D and will be getting homework to do in college until I'm 28... People can successfully own a business at that age, plus in the FML it stated that it was a Facebook account for OP's mother's business.