Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML
Today, I spent all day baking dog-safe cookies for my pup's birthday. He sniffed them, turned around, and started begging for one of MY processed garbage cookies from a store instead. FML
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML
Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
You seem bright.
artisticninja713 13
How the hell would you know if the dog was mad at you?
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Comments (153)
iCommentFML 0
How will a dog will know? and u mfydi for not knowing
Korill 3
Maybe they were normal cookies and the dog decided that they must have been his but OP ate it instead?
Jeeessica 0
that must be one tasty ass dog treat.
CrimsonWolf1294 0
1 wins and so does his pic
mr_rice 0
You should look at your dog and just be like "get your own peanut butter cookies >_>"
DRush_fml 12
Dogs don't hold grudges! You seem VERY smart...
usmcbunny 0
...I'm trying to fathom how you're aware that your dog is mad at you. Does he sit there and "e_e" at you? Perhaps you've been on shrooms? Acid? Maybe a little bit of Salvia? Hell, I've even known Klonopin to cause hallucinations. If it's none of that, then consider a psychiatric consult. It could be schizophrenia, or another hallucination/delusion/paranoid disorder
Intoxicunt 6
I agree with #30. Not everything is meant completely literally. Sheesh.
mikey94bra 0
@29 or she has a good sense of humour
VivianTheAspie 0
Why is it that I imagine this FML being written with assorted used syringes and empty pill packets scattered around the drooling OP?
Stevefett 0
I like the ones that give you minty breath and a shiny coat.